My mind at the moment is filled with choas and drama triggered by different things. Pressure at work, negative emotions released by people, moments where life throws a curveball at you, not getting the results I desire in my life. It feels like there are a thousand thoughts going on in my head all at once. Enough thoughts to make Khoi one year ago breakdown. All this going on inside my head is nothing new though I can say my perception now is.
The last few weeks I've had a lot thrown at me all at once but as a result of my inner process work I've been doing, I have become more aware of the drama that goes on in my head and why it happens. I have been doing the Presence Process which has helped me connect with my emotional self. It has helped me to understand that the emotions I experience aren't as a direct result of the present moment but a reflection of my past. In knowing this it has allowed me to handle different situations more effectively. Though there are still moments where I am emotionally affected by certain events, I can always look at those moments and understand where and why I am experiencing those emotions.
I have also been able to observe impulsive and addictive behaviours I've had in the past, where it comes from and why I still continue to do them today. At first I would recognise act impulsively and not recognise the consequences till it was too late. Now I find myself being able to stop myself before I illicit an impulsive behaviour or at least get out before it's too late.
The last few weeks the drama going on in my head has been intensified. I have made some changes that internally my mind is not used to or familiar with. I have cleared up a lot of time by imposing a self ban on myself on the Melbourne Lair. In recent times I've spent way too much time on it. As well as that I have cut down the amount of time I spend on Facebook. As a direct result of having more time on my hands I find my thoughts have been firing off trying to pull me back into old habits. I feel if I hang on long enough, my mind will find a diversion which is more productive and adds value to my life.
Along with drugs, alcohol, junk food and impulsive shopping, I find the Melbourne Lair and Facebook have been avenues to sedate drama and pain which I experience internally. When these avenues have been taken away the drama has intensified wanting to pull me back as it feels safe.
I have hung on for dear life and in the last few weeks I have managed to divert drama into learning the guitar and reading a hell of a lot. The last couple of months I can say I've read more books in this short timeframe than I have read in my entire lifetime. I feel like my capacity to learn is off the charts and I feel like it can only get better.
Again, I still have moments where I snap back to old Khoi but fortunately for me the results from being in a bad state don't affect me immediately and I am better equipped to stand back and re-adjust so that I don't sabbotage myself.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
For sale
For sale is my beloved 1991 2 door BMW 325i, rare manual transmission. The car has driver side panel damage and has been quoted at $1900 to repair.
I am selling the car as is. Car still drives well. I am selling due to moving out to the city and no longer need a car to drive.
Car is equipped with 18" E46 M3 rims and full M3 bodykit.
This car is a great for those looking for a cruiser with a little power when they need it.
I am selling the car as is. Car still drives well. I am selling due to moving out to the city and no longer need a car to drive.
Car is equipped with 18" E46 M3 rims and full M3 bodykit.
This car is a great for those looking for a cruiser with a little power when they need it.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Learning the guitar...the hard way :)
I was drunk one night and me and mate of mine were talking about wanting to play musical instruments. As we talked more and more about it, the impulse to buy one got bigger and bigger. When I got home that night, I jumped onto ebay to buy one. I had to wait a few days for it to arrive. During the time I struggled to keep my focus. In the days between I download videos of guitarist like Santana and it made the excitement of getting my guitar much more intense. The anticipation was killing me.
Finally the day comes and I get my guitar. With all the excitement in the world. I pull it out of the packaging and wanting to practice right away. First things first, I had to tune the guitar so I can get ready to play it. So I tune the guitar with the assistance of an electronic tuner. I had a lot of trouble fine tuning to get the strings in tune. Then came the last string. I had trouble getting it right. I thought the string was way too loose so I kept tightening it and I couldn't get the string in tune. I get tightening and tightening and still nothing. Then... SNAP! Ahhhh! My guitar. Before I even have a chance to play it I snap the string.
Luckily the guitar came with spares. I jump onto youtube and find videos on how to restring guitars. Luckily for my the guitar came with spare strings but I didn't have any tools to put them in. So I run around the city looking for a screwdriver and plyers to put a new string on my guitar. It took me a while to get this all sorted but I got there. Now! Time to play.
I have never played a musical instrument in my life. I high school I failed music miserably so I just figured I was never made out to be a musician. Not knowing where to start I look to the Internet to help me get started...like I do with everything else :)
I've managed to find a few basic lessons on the web and have learned basic chords and finger exercises to condition my fingers to play effectively. It's been a week now and I still suck. I have trouble transitioning between chords and sometimes the finger exercises get me frustrated.
However, I'm still motivated to learn this motherfucker. I have visions of serenading a harem of ladies to the sweet, sensual and sultry tunes then ripping their clothes off and fucking them like a rock star. And there is of course the idea of busking for a living like Isaac.
Which reminds me of this:
Finally the day comes and I get my guitar. With all the excitement in the world. I pull it out of the packaging and wanting to practice right away. First things first, I had to tune the guitar so I can get ready to play it. So I tune the guitar with the assistance of an electronic tuner. I had a lot of trouble fine tuning to get the strings in tune. Then came the last string. I had trouble getting it right. I thought the string was way too loose so I kept tightening it and I couldn't get the string in tune. I get tightening and tightening and still nothing. Then... SNAP! Ahhhh! My guitar. Before I even have a chance to play it I snap the string.
Luckily the guitar came with spares. I jump onto youtube and find videos on how to restring guitars. Luckily for my the guitar came with spare strings but I didn't have any tools to put them in. So I run around the city looking for a screwdriver and plyers to put a new string on my guitar. It took me a while to get this all sorted but I got there. Now! Time to play.
I have never played a musical instrument in my life. I high school I failed music miserably so I just figured I was never made out to be a musician. Not knowing where to start I look to the Internet to help me get started...like I do with everything else :)
I've managed to find a few basic lessons on the web and have learned basic chords and finger exercises to condition my fingers to play effectively. It's been a week now and I still suck. I have trouble transitioning between chords and sometimes the finger exercises get me frustrated.
However, I'm still motivated to learn this motherfucker. I have visions of serenading a harem of ladies to the sweet, sensual and sultry tunes then ripping their clothes off and fucking them like a rock star. And there is of course the idea of busking for a living like Isaac.
Which reminds me of this:
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Some of my current thoughts
Productivity
I have decided to cut myself off from Facebook, the Melbourne Lair and amateur porn for a while. They're things I have spent a lot of my time on recently which do not add value to myself or others. While I does allow me to keep in touch with people it has also taken away time for me to do the things which are important to me.
I have taken on board a few new interests and new objectives recently and I feel I am not giving the time necessary to get the most out of the experience.
Be ready to receive
In recent times I have felt that I was having problems with closing and I have been working on becoming more aggressive and going for what I want. While I have been a lot more aggressive and have been taking things one step further, I am still not reaching my desired outcomes. I have written a list of times where I pulled the trigger whether I screwed up or not. From that list I came up with more than 50 reference experience in the past year to validate my belief that I do go for what I want. For the average guy, they would be lucky to at least have a shot 5 times with a woman. So is closing really the issue?
I recently read "Secrets of the Millionaire Mind" by T Harv Eker which goes into the inner game of money. How our spending and monetary habits are cultivated by our "Money Blueprint" as a result our experiences with money from our upbringing. While this book is focused on money, I feel a lot of the concepts can be carried over to other areas of our life, especially women.
One of the principles which dropped a penny for me was "Rich people are excellent receivers. Poor people are poor receivers." From a young age, I was made to feel guilty about receiving things. Whether it was presents, money, clothing. For example, my sisters would have a go at me when I was given money from my parents or my grandparents. They would say things like "mum and dad work their ass off for that money and you shouldn't take it." I felt this guilt recently when my grandma gave me $100 out of the blue. Now you're thinking "cool, $100! Fuck yeah!" I'm thinking "I can't take this. She's old and helpless. She won't be able to take care of herself."
There was a time I saw a $50 note on the ground and thought to myself "what if people see me? Then they'll think I'm cheap."
I have known to give and lend out money. I don't have any trouble in helping others out whether it's giving out advice, having your back in a fight, helping you get the girl home. Where I've fallen short is being a good receiver. In money, women, friends, jobs, life experiences...everything!
Back to the topic on women. I have been on dates with high quality women. The type of women I would want to marry. Now time and time again it has started with approach, date then...nothing! When I look back to my old journal posts I write that I didn't have the balls to make a move. That may have been the case at the time. What I should also mention was that I didn't feel like I could keep up with these kind of women.
Now my reference experiences when it comes to closing demonstrate that I do go for what I want but I feel that I have not been prepared to receive what I have been asking for.
I have noticed when I offer something to someone and they reject, there tends to be an elicited micro-behaviour or feelings of disrespect. Now while I know in my heart that this is not personal, I still have these feelings. Which brings me to my experiences with women in that past year. I have gone out of my way to approach her, tell her she's beautiful, take her out on a date, have a pleasant conversation and leave with a kiss on a cheek. Women have been giving me pussy on a plate and I have turned them down. There has to be an undercurrent of disrespect here. Of course, she isn't thinking this on a conscious level but on a deeper level this is what she must be feeling.
As I came across this concept of being a receiver, I had a flush of visions of the times women were putting themselves out there only for me to turn it down. Which makes me think I have come to this community to have enjoyable experiences with women and instead I have been disrespectful in turning them down.
I have been screaming to the universe to give me what I want. It's delivered and yet I have not been there to receive it. The universe must be thinking "dude! Make up your mind! What the fuck do you want?"
Focus and Creativity
Martial arts has been my outlet physically and creatively. It has also been a place where focus and discipline have cultivated but in recent times they have been all over the place. While I am injured at the moment I am physically limited to how hard I can push myself and explore my boundaries.
I have just bought myself a guitar. I feel like once I get past the tough part of learning to play it, it will be a great source of joy. I must admit as I have been practicing I have has times of restlessness and frustration but I feel in the end it will all be worth it. I have been watching videos of my favourite bands and artists such as Live, Santana, Jimi Hendrix, U2... who inspire me to keep going.
I have decided to cut myself off from Facebook, the Melbourne Lair and amateur porn for a while. They're things I have spent a lot of my time on recently which do not add value to myself or others. While I does allow me to keep in touch with people it has also taken away time for me to do the things which are important to me.
I have taken on board a few new interests and new objectives recently and I feel I am not giving the time necessary to get the most out of the experience.
Be ready to receive
In recent times I have felt that I was having problems with closing and I have been working on becoming more aggressive and going for what I want. While I have been a lot more aggressive and have been taking things one step further, I am still not reaching my desired outcomes. I have written a list of times where I pulled the trigger whether I screwed up or not. From that list I came up with more than 50 reference experience in the past year to validate my belief that I do go for what I want. For the average guy, they would be lucky to at least have a shot 5 times with a woman. So is closing really the issue?
I recently read "Secrets of the Millionaire Mind" by T Harv Eker which goes into the inner game of money. How our spending and monetary habits are cultivated by our "Money Blueprint" as a result our experiences with money from our upbringing. While this book is focused on money, I feel a lot of the concepts can be carried over to other areas of our life, especially women.
One of the principles which dropped a penny for me was "Rich people are excellent receivers. Poor people are poor receivers." From a young age, I was made to feel guilty about receiving things. Whether it was presents, money, clothing. For example, my sisters would have a go at me when I was given money from my parents or my grandparents. They would say things like "mum and dad work their ass off for that money and you shouldn't take it." I felt this guilt recently when my grandma gave me $100 out of the blue. Now you're thinking "cool, $100! Fuck yeah!" I'm thinking "I can't take this. She's old and helpless. She won't be able to take care of herself."
There was a time I saw a $50 note on the ground and thought to myself "what if people see me? Then they'll think I'm cheap."
I have known to give and lend out money. I don't have any trouble in helping others out whether it's giving out advice, having your back in a fight, helping you get the girl home. Where I've fallen short is being a good receiver. In money, women, friends, jobs, life experiences...everything!
Back to the topic on women. I have been on dates with high quality women. The type of women I would want to marry. Now time and time again it has started with approach, date then...nothing! When I look back to my old journal posts I write that I didn't have the balls to make a move. That may have been the case at the time. What I should also mention was that I didn't feel like I could keep up with these kind of women.
Now my reference experiences when it comes to closing demonstrate that I do go for what I want but I feel that I have not been prepared to receive what I have been asking for.
I have noticed when I offer something to someone and they reject, there tends to be an elicited micro-behaviour or feelings of disrespect. Now while I know in my heart that this is not personal, I still have these feelings. Which brings me to my experiences with women in that past year. I have gone out of my way to approach her, tell her she's beautiful, take her out on a date, have a pleasant conversation and leave with a kiss on a cheek. Women have been giving me pussy on a plate and I have turned them down. There has to be an undercurrent of disrespect here. Of course, she isn't thinking this on a conscious level but on a deeper level this is what she must be feeling.
As I came across this concept of being a receiver, I had a flush of visions of the times women were putting themselves out there only for me to turn it down. Which makes me think I have come to this community to have enjoyable experiences with women and instead I have been disrespectful in turning them down.
I have been screaming to the universe to give me what I want. It's delivered and yet I have not been there to receive it. The universe must be thinking "dude! Make up your mind! What the fuck do you want?"
Focus and Creativity
Martial arts has been my outlet physically and creatively. It has also been a place where focus and discipline have cultivated but in recent times they have been all over the place. While I am injured at the moment I am physically limited to how hard I can push myself and explore my boundaries.
I have just bought myself a guitar. I feel like once I get past the tough part of learning to play it, it will be a great source of joy. I must admit as I have been practicing I have has times of restlessness and frustration but I feel in the end it will all be worth it. I have been watching videos of my favourite bands and artists such as Live, Santana, Jimi Hendrix, U2... who inspire me to keep going.
My 12 week plan
Expert: Getting what you want, nothing stopping you, being aggressive
Flow-On: Being a Closer, a Killer
I'm only giving you a skeleton one so far, I want you to do a month, and let me know how it goes, so we can do the rest based on your actions.
Also, please put this into your journal.
With books, you won't have time to read, so skim, and review, and do it quickly. Less is more...
Week 1 -
Order book - booko.com.au Mind Manipulation: Ancient and Modern Ninja Techniques [Paperback] Dr. Haha Lung (Author)
Mentor of the Week: Tim Ferriss - study him in massive detail.
Crime Study of the Week: Hell's Angels - study in detail, everything you can, including documentaries.
Read this page: http://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/psychology-of-money/
Start training for something competitive.
Week 2 -
Order Book: Secrets of Power Negotiating, 15th Anniversary Edition: Inside Secrets from a Master Negotiator [Paperback] Roger Dawson
Roger Dawson (Author)
› Visit Amazon's Roger Dawson Page
Find all the books, read about the author, and more.
See search results for this author
Are you an author? Learn about Author Central
(Author)
Audios of the Week: Zig Ziglar any audio but especially closing the sale.
Crime Study of the Week: Underbelly
Mentor of the Week: Richard Branson
Start developing a 2-5 year plan, with a really exciting goal
Week 3 -
Order Book: Winning by Intimidation
Mentor of the Week: Frank Kern
Book to attend a real estate seminar or investing seminar
Plan to make some alpha natural friends
Keep developing your blog
Read Gunwich Method
Week 4 -
Order Book:The Silva Mind Control Method [Mass Market Paperback] Jose Silva (Author)
Mentor of the Week: Alexander the Great
Talk to 3 recruiters about career options, and strategy
Automate your personal finances http://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/automate-your-personal-finances/
Study of the Week: Wall Street Traders
Week 5 -
Order Book: Persuasion Skills Black Book: Practical NLP Language Patterns for Getting The Response You Want [Paperback]
Rintu Basu
Rintu Basu (Author)
› Visit Amazon's Rintu Basu Page
Find all the books, read about the author, and more.
See search results for this author
Are you an author? Learn about Author Central
(Author), Debbie Jenkins (Editor)
Mentor of the Week: Gengis Khan
Study of the Week: Silicon Valley Entrepreneurs
Movie of the Week: The Godfather
Week 6 -
Order Book I Will Teach You To Be Rich by Ramit Sethi
Study of the Week: Crime Lords
Study how to earn more money http://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/earn-more-money/
Audio: The 80/20 Principle
Week 7 -
Order Book Your Money or Your Life: 9 Steps to Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Achieving Financial Independence: Revised and Updated for the 21st Century by Vicki Robin, Joe Dominguez, and Monique Tilford
Study of the Week: Billionaires
Week 8 -
Order Book: The Art of Closing Any Deal: How to Be a Master Closer in Everything You Do by James W. Pickens
Study of the Week: Australia's Young Rich List
Mentor of the Week: Justin Hemmes
Week 9 -
Order Book: Too Nice for Your Own Good : How to Stop Making 9 Self-Sabotaging Mistakes by Duke Robinson
Week 10 -
Order Book: The Assertiveness Workbook: How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships by Randy J. Paterson
Week 11 -
Week 12 -
Flow-On: Being a Closer, a Killer
I'm only giving you a skeleton one so far, I want you to do a month, and let me know how it goes, so we can do the rest based on your actions.
Also, please put this into your journal.
With books, you won't have time to read, so skim, and review, and do it quickly. Less is more...
Week 1 -
Order book - booko.com.au Mind Manipulation: Ancient and Modern Ninja Techniques [Paperback] Dr. Haha Lung (Author)
Mentor of the Week: Tim Ferriss - study him in massive detail.
Crime Study of the Week: Hell's Angels - study in detail, everything you can, including documentaries.
Read this page: http://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/psychology-of-money/
Start training for something competitive.
Week 2 -
Order Book: Secrets of Power Negotiating, 15th Anniversary Edition: Inside Secrets from a Master Negotiator [Paperback] Roger Dawson
Roger Dawson (Author)
› Visit Amazon's Roger Dawson Page
Find all the books, read about the author, and more.
See search results for this author
Are you an author? Learn about Author Central
(Author)
Audios of the Week: Zig Ziglar any audio but especially closing the sale.
Crime Study of the Week: Underbelly
Mentor of the Week: Richard Branson
Start developing a 2-5 year plan, with a really exciting goal
Week 3 -
Order Book: Winning by Intimidation
Mentor of the Week: Frank Kern
Book to attend a real estate seminar or investing seminar
Plan to make some alpha natural friends
Keep developing your blog
Read Gunwich Method
Week 4 -
Order Book:The Silva Mind Control Method [Mass Market Paperback] Jose Silva (Author)
Mentor of the Week: Alexander the Great
Talk to 3 recruiters about career options, and strategy
Automate your personal finances http://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/automate-your-personal-finances/
Study of the Week: Wall Street Traders
Week 5 -
Order Book: Persuasion Skills Black Book: Practical NLP Language Patterns for Getting The Response You Want [Paperback]
Rintu Basu
Rintu Basu (Author)
› Visit Amazon's Rintu Basu Page
Find all the books, read about the author, and more.
See search results for this author
Are you an author? Learn about Author Central
(Author), Debbie Jenkins (Editor)
Mentor of the Week: Gengis Khan
Study of the Week: Silicon Valley Entrepreneurs
Movie of the Week: The Godfather
Week 6 -
Order Book I Will Teach You To Be Rich by Ramit Sethi
Study of the Week: Crime Lords
Study how to earn more money http://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/earn-more-money/
Audio: The 80/20 Principle
Week 7 -
Order Book Your Money or Your Life: 9 Steps to Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Achieving Financial Independence: Revised and Updated for the 21st Century by Vicki Robin, Joe Dominguez, and Monique Tilford
Study of the Week: Billionaires
Week 8 -
Order Book: The Art of Closing Any Deal: How to Be a Master Closer in Everything You Do by James W. Pickens
Study of the Week: Australia's Young Rich List
Mentor of the Week: Justin Hemmes
Week 9 -
Order Book: Too Nice for Your Own Good : How to Stop Making 9 Self-Sabotaging Mistakes by Duke Robinson
Week 10 -
Order Book: The Assertiveness Workbook: How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships by Randy J. Paterson
Week 11 -
Week 12 -
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