I just came home after a night out at 29th apartment in St Kilda. I spent most of my Wednesday nights there last summer. Anyway, I had about 3-4 beers and my bladder was a little weak as well as being a little tipsy. The toilets were limited so I had to wait in line. After a few beers I went to the toilet and like everyone else I waited in line. As I am waiting some guy just rushes straight into the toilet ahead of me. I think to myself 'oi! It's my turn'. I wait till he does his business, leaves then I take my turn.
Later on nature calls again and so I wait in line as everyone else does. I'm next in line and again some guy goes in front of me. Now this time something took over me. It was like a sudden blood rush. I pushed the door wide open and as the door was about to come back I punched a hole in the door. The guy looked at my scared shitless. I punched another hole in the door and he freaked out and turned into a shadow of himself and walked out. That moment where he thought he had the power to do what he want was taken away from him by a rush of blood to my head. In the moment I felt powerful. Being able to turn a man into a little boy. Do I feel bad about this? No. Why? There was a time in my life where I felt I could do whatever I wanted. There was a time where I stood up for myself. There was a time where I was fearless. Yet somewhere in between being born and walking into adulthood, this sense of power was taken away from me. I became a pushover. I became an easy target. I became a minion. I became powerless. I have no sense of control over my life.
Call it as you may, but as I right this with a bloody fist, this is the most powerful I have felt in a very long time and it feels fucking amazing.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Hip-Hop Self Help...Who would have thought?
Currently I am listening to "The 50th Law" audiobook by 50 Cent and Robert Greene, writer of The 48 Laws of Power. I stumbled across this while looking for books on mindsets and personal empowerment. I am keen to read The 48 Laws of Power but the intended teachings in this book resonated more with what I wanted. To be fearless.
From what I have listened to so far it is interesting to see how a lot of the principles outlined in this book ties in well with my inner game work. Seeing the world for what it is, viewing the world objectively and not reactively. Being able to see positives from every situation. Being powerful and not being a slave to others. A leader of men. Most of all being fearless.
I am also appreciate how 50 cent has gone from crack dealer to being a multi-million dollar entrepreneur. The way he is portrayed in the media and in music videos doesn't do him much justice. The man is a genius, a pioneer, an innovator. He is not just an artist, he's a producer, a record label owner, a self marketer. He is a man who is self empowered, a designer of his own destiny.
This book/audiobook is very similar to Thick Face, Black Heart but much more raw and easier to read. The concepts which both books outline are very similar, it's just the angle in which The 50th Law presents the concepts resonate with me more.
From what I have listened to so far it is interesting to see how a lot of the principles outlined in this book ties in well with my inner game work. Seeing the world for what it is, viewing the world objectively and not reactively. Being able to see positives from every situation. Being powerful and not being a slave to others. A leader of men. Most of all being fearless.
I am also appreciate how 50 cent has gone from crack dealer to being a multi-million dollar entrepreneur. The way he is portrayed in the media and in music videos doesn't do him much justice. The man is a genius, a pioneer, an innovator. He is not just an artist, he's a producer, a record label owner, a self marketer. He is a man who is self empowered, a designer of his own destiny.
This book/audiobook is very similar to Thick Face, Black Heart but much more raw and easier to read. The concepts which both books outline are very similar, it's just the angle in which The 50th Law presents the concepts resonate with me more.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Inner Game...It's where it's at
Here's a snippet from a recent journal entry I made a while back:
It's all Inner Game
It's what makes me get out of bed in the morning, it's what makes me want to travel for over an hour to goto work, it's what triggers me to make the changes that I am making in my life right now, it's what made me want to start pick-up in the first place, it's what made me want to continue talking to girls even after being rejected by hundreds of girls before them, it's what allows me to question my beliefs and values to see how strong they are...I could go on forever.
I feel I have a solid technical foundation as far as seduction goes and the only thing holding me back is my bullshit beliefs created by conditioning by parents, society, media, religion, etc. I have spent alot of time focusing more on my beliefs and removing negative anchors from my life which have stopped me from becoming the man I deserve to be (moving out of home, culling friends who put me down, being less of a yes man and prepared to say no more often if it's at the expense of my own well being).
Deep Level Identity Change
The last month I have been working through some deep level identity changes. It all started off with attending Vipassana for 10-days and uncovering strong attachments to my past. Being more aware of why I am the way I am I have a strong desire to let go of these attachments and surrender myself to the new man I have become.
Right now I have been doing "The Presence Process" which was written by Michael Brown. It was recommended to me by Almog. I listened to Michael's audios and I liked his teaching style. His concepts and philosophies really tie in well with where I am at in my journey. So far I have uncovered some sensations and experienced some emotional triggers. However, I am yet to find out the deeper meaning behind them. For example, all of the sudden I have an intense craving for cigarettes and yet I've never been much of a cigarette smoker. I get the feeling I am about to uncover something about my dad as he was a big smoker when I was a kid.
I have also been reading alot of biographies and books on mindsets. A lot of books out there are more focused on the how-to and I feel it doesn't help me. I rather get into the mind of the person I want to be like rather than the how-to. I find that with the how-to I tend to adopt the behaviours for a short period before snapping back to who I was before. I need to experience change on a deep core level.
Today I started watching Deep Inner Game by Hypnotica. I watched this earlier in the year and this helped me heaps in becoming friends with my approach anxiety. Doing the exercises today triggered me to want to go and but babies in some sexy ladies. I like how he uses timeline therapy which I think is from NLP. I found this to be effective for me as I was made to feel intense pain behind not taking action and hysterical joy behind taking action. The pain behind not taking action would be so unbearable.
I have come to the stage now where I feel I can't go back to who I was before. I know if I were to stop in my journey, it would be the next best thing to suicide. I can't live my life now knowing that there is a way to personal freedom and not to pursue it.
It's all Inner Game
It's what makes me get out of bed in the morning, it's what makes me want to travel for over an hour to goto work, it's what triggers me to make the changes that I am making in my life right now, it's what made me want to start pick-up in the first place, it's what made me want to continue talking to girls even after being rejected by hundreds of girls before them, it's what allows me to question my beliefs and values to see how strong they are...I could go on forever.
I feel I have a solid technical foundation as far as seduction goes and the only thing holding me back is my bullshit beliefs created by conditioning by parents, society, media, religion, etc. I have spent alot of time focusing more on my beliefs and removing negative anchors from my life which have stopped me from becoming the man I deserve to be (moving out of home, culling friends who put me down, being less of a yes man and prepared to say no more often if it's at the expense of my own well being).
Deep Level Identity Change
The last month I have been working through some deep level identity changes. It all started off with attending Vipassana for 10-days and uncovering strong attachments to my past. Being more aware of why I am the way I am I have a strong desire to let go of these attachments and surrender myself to the new man I have become.
Right now I have been doing "The Presence Process" which was written by Michael Brown. It was recommended to me by Almog. I listened to Michael's audios and I liked his teaching style. His concepts and philosophies really tie in well with where I am at in my journey. So far I have uncovered some sensations and experienced some emotional triggers. However, I am yet to find out the deeper meaning behind them. For example, all of the sudden I have an intense craving for cigarettes and yet I've never been much of a cigarette smoker. I get the feeling I am about to uncover something about my dad as he was a big smoker when I was a kid.
I have also been reading alot of biographies and books on mindsets. A lot of books out there are more focused on the how-to and I feel it doesn't help me. I rather get into the mind of the person I want to be like rather than the how-to. I find that with the how-to I tend to adopt the behaviours for a short period before snapping back to who I was before. I need to experience change on a deep core level.
Today I started watching Deep Inner Game by Hypnotica. I watched this earlier in the year and this helped me heaps in becoming friends with my approach anxiety. Doing the exercises today triggered me to want to go and but babies in some sexy ladies. I like how he uses timeline therapy which I think is from NLP. I found this to be effective for me as I was made to feel intense pain behind not taking action and hysterical joy behind taking action. The pain behind not taking action would be so unbearable.
I have come to the stage now where I feel I can't go back to who I was before. I know if I were to stop in my journey, it would be the next best thing to suicide. I can't live my life now knowing that there is a way to personal freedom and not to pursue it.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Daygame 08/11/2010: Melbourne CBD
My calves are about to explode. I went for a run around Albert Park lake with Almog. He showed me how to run properly which involved running mainly on the balls of my feet. It was stupid of me to even consider walking around the city and yet I did it anyway.
I'm chilling at my apartment when I get a text from Daryl to catch up. I ask him to meet me at my place. He arrives at my doorstep and we goto wonder the city for abit. There's not much going around...actually there were heaps of gorgeous ladies. I was just being a pussy. On top of that I was kinda dressed like a lame pirate. In pirate shorts, white shirt and a black beanie. I wore a beanie as I haven't used conditioner on my head and my scalp was flaking. It looked quite embarassing. I think how I was dressed was stopping me from approaching.
Approach #1: Miss Ireland
We goto Fed Square where there is only one cute girl who is sitting on her own. Blonde and wearing all black. Every other girl there looked like they were with their boyfriends. Daryl and I walk past the blonde and stand behind her. I'm standing there fighting with my internal dialogue to determine if I'm going to talk to her or not. Daryl is pushing me to get in there. After a few moments I think "fuck it!" I sit next to her and say "hi!" She says "hi!"
Me: I thought you were really cute I had to come talk to you
Her: Thankyou (glow face)
I find out what she's upto. She's come to meet up with her friends and she only has a few days left. She's from Ireland and I ask her what she misses most about being away from home. Then we talk abit about Melbourne. As she talks I stop her and say "you know you have these deep ocean blue eyes" and hold contact for half a moment. Maybe not long enough. Then I snap back into normal conversation. She was really cool and wanted to know abit about what I was upto as well. I go for the number close but she says she has a boyfriend (but he's back in Ireland...). "Cool we can be best friends" I say. She gives me her number. We talk for a little bit more then I eject.
I sent her a text not long after in which she replied almost straight away. I'm not sure if I will be able to follow up as I'll be in Adelaide for the weekend and by the time I get back, she'll be long gone. What I got from this is when there is no pressure, I can hold a conversation well. I felt like I didn't have to come up with something good to say all the time.
Approach #2: Metal mouth
It's abit late in the afternoon and I'm starving. Daryl and I decide to grab a bite. Once I finish eating we decide to wonder around the city again. I spot a tall blonde in a sexy corporate outfit. I stop her and open direct. She lights up and smiles (she had cute little braces on). It gets a little awkward and she walks off.
Approach #3: Cute artsy brunette.
It's time for me to go home. I'm waiting at the traffic lights. Daryl is on the phone and next to him is cute artsy girl. Short hair, red lipstick and this cute little dress. She's looking around and I try to lock eyes with her. No joy. We cross the road and she storms ahead of us. Daryl and I are walking towards Myer and I see her standing by herself. I stop right in front of her. "Hi!" I said. She says "hi!"
I open direct and she lights up. She is waiting for a friend and I ask her "so what would your friends say they would like about you?" I give her some space to respond and she says she's nice. I ask her to elaborate further. In which she does but then she throws it back on me which I respond comfortably. She also mentions shes a musician and I find out what it is she enjoys about music which she seems happy to tell me. Her friend then comes along and she introduces me to her. I ask her friend if there is anything I should be worried about with artsy girl. Daryl comes in and we talk for abit more. From there I ask for her number and she happily gives it to me. We speak for abit more before saying goodbye. I text her not long after.
I look back at the first and last approaches today and I am surprised at how comfortable I was and how smooth the interactions seemed to go. The interactions were abit understated but yet I was able to keep things light.
I'm chilling at my apartment when I get a text from Daryl to catch up. I ask him to meet me at my place. He arrives at my doorstep and we goto wonder the city for abit. There's not much going around...actually there were heaps of gorgeous ladies. I was just being a pussy. On top of that I was kinda dressed like a lame pirate. In pirate shorts, white shirt and a black beanie. I wore a beanie as I haven't used conditioner on my head and my scalp was flaking. It looked quite embarassing. I think how I was dressed was stopping me from approaching.
Approach #1: Miss Ireland
We goto Fed Square where there is only one cute girl who is sitting on her own. Blonde and wearing all black. Every other girl there looked like they were with their boyfriends. Daryl and I walk past the blonde and stand behind her. I'm standing there fighting with my internal dialogue to determine if I'm going to talk to her or not. Daryl is pushing me to get in there. After a few moments I think "fuck it!" I sit next to her and say "hi!" She says "hi!"
Me: I thought you were really cute I had to come talk to you
Her: Thankyou (glow face)
I find out what she's upto. She's come to meet up with her friends and she only has a few days left. She's from Ireland and I ask her what she misses most about being away from home. Then we talk abit about Melbourne. As she talks I stop her and say "you know you have these deep ocean blue eyes" and hold contact for half a moment. Maybe not long enough. Then I snap back into normal conversation. She was really cool and wanted to know abit about what I was upto as well. I go for the number close but she says she has a boyfriend (but he's back in Ireland...). "Cool we can be best friends" I say. She gives me her number. We talk for a little bit more then I eject.
I sent her a text not long after in which she replied almost straight away. I'm not sure if I will be able to follow up as I'll be in Adelaide for the weekend and by the time I get back, she'll be long gone. What I got from this is when there is no pressure, I can hold a conversation well. I felt like I didn't have to come up with something good to say all the time.
Approach #2: Metal mouth
It's abit late in the afternoon and I'm starving. Daryl and I decide to grab a bite. Once I finish eating we decide to wonder around the city again. I spot a tall blonde in a sexy corporate outfit. I stop her and open direct. She lights up and smiles (she had cute little braces on). It gets a little awkward and she walks off.
Approach #3: Cute artsy brunette.
It's time for me to go home. I'm waiting at the traffic lights. Daryl is on the phone and next to him is cute artsy girl. Short hair, red lipstick and this cute little dress. She's looking around and I try to lock eyes with her. No joy. We cross the road and she storms ahead of us. Daryl and I are walking towards Myer and I see her standing by herself. I stop right in front of her. "Hi!" I said. She says "hi!"
I open direct and she lights up. She is waiting for a friend and I ask her "so what would your friends say they would like about you?" I give her some space to respond and she says she's nice. I ask her to elaborate further. In which she does but then she throws it back on me which I respond comfortably. She also mentions shes a musician and I find out what it is she enjoys about music which she seems happy to tell me. Her friend then comes along and she introduces me to her. I ask her friend if there is anything I should be worried about with artsy girl. Daryl comes in and we talk for abit more. From there I ask for her number and she happily gives it to me. We speak for abit more before saying goodbye. I text her not long after.
I look back at the first and last approaches today and I am surprised at how comfortable I was and how smooth the interactions seemed to go. The interactions were abit understated but yet I was able to keep things light.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Melbourne Cup Eve/Day
Last year I went to the Melbourne Cup for the first time and was blown away by how many drunk, sexy and well dressed the women were. Where have they been hiding for most of the year? I found it really easy to talk to girls but back then I had next to 0 game. I relied alot on routines which got me nowhere. I have evolved a lot this year and I was looking forward to attacking with heavy artillery :)
I'll start off with cup eve. I head to Spice Market with Rey and Alex. I don't do much night game these days but I'm keen to get alot under my belt for when summer comes. I want my bedroom smelling of the stench of pussy juice :)
Cup Eve
We arrive pretty early and it's pretty dead. Alex, Rey and I are chatting. There is a couple of blondes talking near us. A tall curvaceous beauty and average looking blonde. I listen in on their conversation and then I hear them talk about dildos. My alarm bells are ringing...SLUTS! I'm feeling abit of anxiety. I tell the guys what the girls are talking about. I give myself a moment or two before going in. We chat for abit and we exchange friendly banter. The conversation dies abit and I turn back to the boys.
Later on in the night I bumped into the curvaceous blonde again and danced with her for abit. As I walk off her friend gives my ass a spank. I turn around and give her a cheeky smile. It didn't occur to me at the time to come in and give her abit of the Khoi...grrr!
We're on the dancefloor and I spot a platinum blonde dancing on my left. I turn and lock eyes with her. I say "hello!" in a super excited voice. She says "hello!" in a super excited voice. I put out my hand. She takes it, I spin her and bring her close and say "what's your name?" I think she's a little freaked out by how physical I'm being. I step it back a notch and dance hip to hip but I think the damage has been done.
Not far away is the hottest girl I've seen all night. She's a tall brunette and wearing the tightest mini-skirt. I'm looking for the perfect moment to approach but I pussy out...grrr! Later I see her talking to another guy and he ends up number closing her. My heart is a little broken. I happen to see her dancing next to me later in the night. I turn to her and say "hello!". She says "hello!" and like I did with platinum blonde I drew her close. We exchange abit of social chit chat while I'm holding sexual eye contact. I still have her hand holding mine and we're dancing real close. Her friend pulls her away and they say they're getting a drink. Rey comes over and asks "why didn't you go for it?" I don't know why. It just didn't occur to me that I should go for the kill at the time.
I bump into her again but she doesn't seem to be interested...grrr!
Throughout the night I had my eye on this gorgeous blonde wearing this flowy white dress. The way she dances is soooo sexy. For most of the night I would be walking past her but I couldn't grow instant balls to go talk to her. I bump into George from All Stars and we have a wonder around venue. It's getting late and I have to wake up early to goto the races tomorrow. I tell him "let's go for the kill". I look for white dress blondie, walk up to her and comment on her dress. She lights up with the brightest smile. She has the cutest dimples. We exchange abit of light banter while I'm getting closer and closer and my touch is getting more and more intimate. I can feel the tension between us and I run out of things to say. I'm abit dumbfounded. I kinda freak out and eject. I walk over to George and he asks "why did you leave? That looked really good".
I felt the need to say something when I probably should have just cut the talk and just continue ramping up the physical and non-verbals. I felt she was quite comfortable with me.
I tend to freak out when doing nightgame and can't seem to approach the girls I like, like I do when I do daygame. Tonight was a rare occasion where I approach the girls I like at night. I think it's lame to be saying I've run out of things to say. My conversation skills are now at a point where I don't really run out of things to say. With my conversation skills and my ability to show intent, I created tension to the point that we're now lost in the moment which creates the illusion that I've run out of things to say. If there's tension there, she's feeling it too. Ramp it up!
Cup Day
I arrive at Flemington just after midday and have abit of a wonder. I'm walking towards the race track and I see a leggy brunette in a purple dress. As I'm walking along I can almost feel the guys around me watch as she walks past. To stroke my ego I decide to talk to her.
"Hey you know not many women can wear a dress like that but you have the legs to pull it off". I smile and give her a second to respond. She lights up and we chat for a bit. It was kind of going nowhere so she walks off.
I meet up with Ryan and later Rey and we wonder the grounds. I don't feel that comfortable approaching. We are near the race track. Rey and I spot 2 sexy brunettes in green dresses. Rey is asking me how I would open them. Both of them were smoking so I walked in smoking a cigarette and said "hey you know that shit will kill you". It gets abit of a laugh and we get into some social chat. Rey joins in. We exchange so light hearted banter before things die down. We bail.
I couldn't get myself to approach anymore so I focused on locking eyes with girls. I caught a few but couldn't get myself to approach. Then, inspired by Matt Neason's talk, Rey and I decide to walk through the grounds and give girls the pussy tap. I would say mine was more of a brush but it was good fun. I don't know if I turned anyone on.
Towards the end of the day we bump into Almog, Manic and their friends. We agree to meet up at transport later on.
After Cup Festivities
Rey decides to bail and heads home while Ryan and I head for Transport. I couldn't get myself to talk to anyone. I was abit tired which is a lame excuse now that I am typing this. We meetup with Manic and Almog. I got to see Almog do a couple of approaches which was fun to watch. I have only seen glimpses of what most coaches can do but it's those little glimpses I've seen which have helped me take my game up a notch or two. It gives me visuals to model my game on. We chill out and have a few drinks for abit. Ryan and I then decide to hit Crown.
We wonder around the Casino but there is not much going on. I'm real hungry so we head to McDonalds. Ryan and I are waiting in the McDonalds line at Crown. As I wait to be served I'm looking at the menu to determine what I want to eat. I turn around and notice a cute blonde behind me. I turn back to look at the menu. Then I turn back again and say "hello!" in a super excited voice.
Her: Hey! How are you? (in a super excited voice)
She's from New Zealand and I tease her on her thick accent. We exchange abit of light hearted banter which I felt she was really into. I seem to feel really good as I see people watching me as I talk to her. Ego stroking...FUCK YEAH!
There is abit of a lull and Ryan comes over and says something along the lines of "get her to come out with us". I start talking abit more and I tell her we're gonna hit one of the bars later and that she should join us. She happily agrees. I take her number and grab my food. First number close in like a month...happy days. Thanks Ryan, if you're reading this, for kicking my head into gear.
Ryan and I walk around Crown and nothing much is going on. Ryan decides to leave as he's got work the next day. I'm left to go solo. I send a text to the New Zealand chick. I get a reply saying she has gone home...grrrr! I'll definitely be following up on her. She's as cute as a button and seems pretty keen.
I'm now wondering around Crown solo. I decide to text people to see if they're out. Most people replied they had other plans except for Daryl. I meet up with Daryl at Fed Square and we head off to Spice Market.
Spice Martket is packed and lots of sexy ladies but I'm nervous as hell. I exchange abit of small talk with the girls at the bar. Do a couple laps of the venue then decide to hit the dancefloor. I grab the attention of cougar, high five, then spin her. We chat for a bit and then I turn to her incredibly sexy friend, a brunette in a stunning long black dress. She's not at all receptive to me. We exchange a few more words before walking off.
I'm on the dancefloor and then I get opened my a drunk, old mole. She's really keen to dance with me. I dance with her for abit. As I'm dancing with her I lock eyes with a few girls and give them the "help me!" look. She's making moves on me and I'm not reciprocating. It seems to be annoying her. She accuses me of being gay and walks off.
While I'm dancing I spot a group of three girls. One of them sets off of my alarm bells...SLUT! A cute brunette. I get her attention and pull her in close. "What's your name?" In the most alpha voice I can put on. We're grinding against each other and I'm getting a massive boner. She goes back to her friends...grrr.
Daryl decides it's hometime and takes off leaving me to fly solo. I'm on the middle of the dancefloor and get the attention of a cute blonde. She really knows how to move her body. I saw her making out with another guy before and wasn't sure if he was her boyfriend so I didn't make any moves. We have a bit of a dance off and I seem to hold my own and she's loving it and getting close to me. So I thought "meh! A little grinding won't hurt". Then I see her friend come along. Another blonde. My alarm bells went off again...SLUT! So I pulled her in "what's your name?" I tried getting close but she wasn't too keen on my advances.
I see the cute brunette from before and pull her in again and we're getting really close. The way we were moving together was giving me a massive hard on. I notice a couple of other guys trying to pick up her friends. Great! I have her isolated. We're talking for abit and we hae some intimate hand holding happening. I figure it's on. But then she decides to go back to her friends. One of the guys gives me a high 5 and tells me to make a move on her. The girls walk off...grrr!
I do abit of a wonder around and get a drink of water and hit the dancefloor again. I see the cute brunette on the dancefloor with her friends. I lock eyes with her, she grabs me and introduces me to her friends. Looks like the guys talking to them before failed. We talk for a bit. They are from Newcastle and it's their last night in Melbourne. Then another girl comes along. A beautiful artsy brunette. She's also with these girls. Where has she been hiding all night? The cute brunette introduces me to her. I shake hands and don't let go of her hand. She seems comfortable with it. I spin her a few times and draw her close to me. She's wearing this elegant black silk dress. The feeling of it against her body is giving me a massive hard on.
We're grinding on the dancefloor and I give her the sex eyes and hold it there. She knows what's up. I hold the gaze for a few moments and she slowly comes in and kisses me. I'm thinking "fuck yeah!" but then she freaks out and she starts rationalising what's happening. Something along the lines of "this is happening too fast". I was stuck. I didn't know how to respond. I bring her closer to me but this time she resists me. She kisses me again, says something and walks off.
All this happened in the space of minutes. Perhaps I should have taken her somewhere where we could sit down and talk one-on-one for a bit?
It's getting close to closing time I am on the dancefloor and I bump into cute brunette. Artsy brunette is nowhere to be seen. She seems keen so I bring her close to me. My leg is grinding against her pussy and she seems to be loving it. We exchange a few words then I give her the sex eyes and hold it there. We then proceed to make out. She basically eats my face off.
She tells me she has to leave soon and she can't leave her friends. I ask her where she's staying. She says at the Grand Hyatt and I tell her my place is only five minutes away. We make out for abit then she says "let me talk to my friends". I'm dancing away, waiting for her to come back...grrr! She doesn't. The venue is starting to die down and I'm looking around to find her but she's nowhere to be seen.
I don't know if I could have done anything more. I suggested we goto my place but maybe wasn't persistent enough. I could have extracted her to the Grand Hyatt toilets in the lobby but it didn't cross my mind at the time. I spent the rest of the night dancing with whoever else was still around.
Oakes Day
Thursday night I was sitting in front of my computer and was bored as hell so I decided to check out Spice Market again. It was Oakes Day and Thursday is ladies night at Spice Market. I go there and there were some sexy ladies but I couldn't get myself to talk to them. I did a few approaches at the bar and dancefloor. It was more a friendly and social night for me. It's been a while since I've done stuff solo so I thought I document it reminding me I can go out and still have a good time solo.
I'll start off with cup eve. I head to Spice Market with Rey and Alex. I don't do much night game these days but I'm keen to get alot under my belt for when summer comes. I want my bedroom smelling of the stench of pussy juice :)
Cup Eve
We arrive pretty early and it's pretty dead. Alex, Rey and I are chatting. There is a couple of blondes talking near us. A tall curvaceous beauty and average looking blonde. I listen in on their conversation and then I hear them talk about dildos. My alarm bells are ringing...SLUTS! I'm feeling abit of anxiety. I tell the guys what the girls are talking about. I give myself a moment or two before going in. We chat for abit and we exchange friendly banter. The conversation dies abit and I turn back to the boys.
Later on in the night I bumped into the curvaceous blonde again and danced with her for abit. As I walk off her friend gives my ass a spank. I turn around and give her a cheeky smile. It didn't occur to me at the time to come in and give her abit of the Khoi...grrr!
We're on the dancefloor and I spot a platinum blonde dancing on my left. I turn and lock eyes with her. I say "hello!" in a super excited voice. She says "hello!" in a super excited voice. I put out my hand. She takes it, I spin her and bring her close and say "what's your name?" I think she's a little freaked out by how physical I'm being. I step it back a notch and dance hip to hip but I think the damage has been done.
Not far away is the hottest girl I've seen all night. She's a tall brunette and wearing the tightest mini-skirt. I'm looking for the perfect moment to approach but I pussy out...grrr! Later I see her talking to another guy and he ends up number closing her. My heart is a little broken. I happen to see her dancing next to me later in the night. I turn to her and say "hello!". She says "hello!" and like I did with platinum blonde I drew her close. We exchange abit of social chit chat while I'm holding sexual eye contact. I still have her hand holding mine and we're dancing real close. Her friend pulls her away and they say they're getting a drink. Rey comes over and asks "why didn't you go for it?" I don't know why. It just didn't occur to me that I should go for the kill at the time.
I bump into her again but she doesn't seem to be interested...grrr!
Throughout the night I had my eye on this gorgeous blonde wearing this flowy white dress. The way she dances is soooo sexy. For most of the night I would be walking past her but I couldn't grow instant balls to go talk to her. I bump into George from All Stars and we have a wonder around venue. It's getting late and I have to wake up early to goto the races tomorrow. I tell him "let's go for the kill". I look for white dress blondie, walk up to her and comment on her dress. She lights up with the brightest smile. She has the cutest dimples. We exchange abit of light banter while I'm getting closer and closer and my touch is getting more and more intimate. I can feel the tension between us and I run out of things to say. I'm abit dumbfounded. I kinda freak out and eject. I walk over to George and he asks "why did you leave? That looked really good".
I felt the need to say something when I probably should have just cut the talk and just continue ramping up the physical and non-verbals. I felt she was quite comfortable with me.
I tend to freak out when doing nightgame and can't seem to approach the girls I like, like I do when I do daygame. Tonight was a rare occasion where I approach the girls I like at night. I think it's lame to be saying I've run out of things to say. My conversation skills are now at a point where I don't really run out of things to say. With my conversation skills and my ability to show intent, I created tension to the point that we're now lost in the moment which creates the illusion that I've run out of things to say. If there's tension there, she's feeling it too. Ramp it up!
Cup Day
I arrive at Flemington just after midday and have abit of a wonder. I'm walking towards the race track and I see a leggy brunette in a purple dress. As I'm walking along I can almost feel the guys around me watch as she walks past. To stroke my ego I decide to talk to her.
"Hey you know not many women can wear a dress like that but you have the legs to pull it off". I smile and give her a second to respond. She lights up and we chat for a bit. It was kind of going nowhere so she walks off.
I meet up with Ryan and later Rey and we wonder the grounds. I don't feel that comfortable approaching. We are near the race track. Rey and I spot 2 sexy brunettes in green dresses. Rey is asking me how I would open them. Both of them were smoking so I walked in smoking a cigarette and said "hey you know that shit will kill you". It gets abit of a laugh and we get into some social chat. Rey joins in. We exchange so light hearted banter before things die down. We bail.
I couldn't get myself to approach anymore so I focused on locking eyes with girls. I caught a few but couldn't get myself to approach. Then, inspired by Matt Neason's talk, Rey and I decide to walk through the grounds and give girls the pussy tap. I would say mine was more of a brush but it was good fun. I don't know if I turned anyone on.
Towards the end of the day we bump into Almog, Manic and their friends. We agree to meet up at transport later on.
After Cup Festivities
Rey decides to bail and heads home while Ryan and I head for Transport. I couldn't get myself to talk to anyone. I was abit tired which is a lame excuse now that I am typing this. We meetup with Manic and Almog. I got to see Almog do a couple of approaches which was fun to watch. I have only seen glimpses of what most coaches can do but it's those little glimpses I've seen which have helped me take my game up a notch or two. It gives me visuals to model my game on. We chill out and have a few drinks for abit. Ryan and I then decide to hit Crown.
We wonder around the Casino but there is not much going on. I'm real hungry so we head to McDonalds. Ryan and I are waiting in the McDonalds line at Crown. As I wait to be served I'm looking at the menu to determine what I want to eat. I turn around and notice a cute blonde behind me. I turn back to look at the menu. Then I turn back again and say "hello!" in a super excited voice.
Her: Hey! How are you? (in a super excited voice)
She's from New Zealand and I tease her on her thick accent. We exchange abit of light hearted banter which I felt she was really into. I seem to feel really good as I see people watching me as I talk to her. Ego stroking...FUCK YEAH!
There is abit of a lull and Ryan comes over and says something along the lines of "get her to come out with us". I start talking abit more and I tell her we're gonna hit one of the bars later and that she should join us. She happily agrees. I take her number and grab my food. First number close in like a month...happy days. Thanks Ryan, if you're reading this, for kicking my head into gear.
Ryan and I walk around Crown and nothing much is going on. Ryan decides to leave as he's got work the next day. I'm left to go solo. I send a text to the New Zealand chick. I get a reply saying she has gone home...grrrr! I'll definitely be following up on her. She's as cute as a button and seems pretty keen.
I'm now wondering around Crown solo. I decide to text people to see if they're out. Most people replied they had other plans except for Daryl. I meet up with Daryl at Fed Square and we head off to Spice Market.
Spice Martket is packed and lots of sexy ladies but I'm nervous as hell. I exchange abit of small talk with the girls at the bar. Do a couple laps of the venue then decide to hit the dancefloor. I grab the attention of cougar, high five, then spin her. We chat for a bit and then I turn to her incredibly sexy friend, a brunette in a stunning long black dress. She's not at all receptive to me. We exchange a few more words before walking off.
I'm on the dancefloor and then I get opened my a drunk, old mole. She's really keen to dance with me. I dance with her for abit. As I'm dancing with her I lock eyes with a few girls and give them the "help me!" look. She's making moves on me and I'm not reciprocating. It seems to be annoying her. She accuses me of being gay and walks off.
While I'm dancing I spot a group of three girls. One of them sets off of my alarm bells...SLUT! A cute brunette. I get her attention and pull her in close. "What's your name?" In the most alpha voice I can put on. We're grinding against each other and I'm getting a massive boner. She goes back to her friends...grrr.
Daryl decides it's hometime and takes off leaving me to fly solo. I'm on the middle of the dancefloor and get the attention of a cute blonde. She really knows how to move her body. I saw her making out with another guy before and wasn't sure if he was her boyfriend so I didn't make any moves. We have a bit of a dance off and I seem to hold my own and she's loving it and getting close to me. So I thought "meh! A little grinding won't hurt". Then I see her friend come along. Another blonde. My alarm bells went off again...SLUT! So I pulled her in "what's your name?" I tried getting close but she wasn't too keen on my advances.
I see the cute brunette from before and pull her in again and we're getting really close. The way we were moving together was giving me a massive hard on. I notice a couple of other guys trying to pick up her friends. Great! I have her isolated. We're talking for abit and we hae some intimate hand holding happening. I figure it's on. But then she decides to go back to her friends. One of the guys gives me a high 5 and tells me to make a move on her. The girls walk off...grrr!
I do abit of a wonder around and get a drink of water and hit the dancefloor again. I see the cute brunette on the dancefloor with her friends. I lock eyes with her, she grabs me and introduces me to her friends. Looks like the guys talking to them before failed. We talk for a bit. They are from Newcastle and it's their last night in Melbourne. Then another girl comes along. A beautiful artsy brunette. She's also with these girls. Where has she been hiding all night? The cute brunette introduces me to her. I shake hands and don't let go of her hand. She seems comfortable with it. I spin her a few times and draw her close to me. She's wearing this elegant black silk dress. The feeling of it against her body is giving me a massive hard on.
We're grinding on the dancefloor and I give her the sex eyes and hold it there. She knows what's up. I hold the gaze for a few moments and she slowly comes in and kisses me. I'm thinking "fuck yeah!" but then she freaks out and she starts rationalising what's happening. Something along the lines of "this is happening too fast". I was stuck. I didn't know how to respond. I bring her closer to me but this time she resists me. She kisses me again, says something and walks off.
All this happened in the space of minutes. Perhaps I should have taken her somewhere where we could sit down and talk one-on-one for a bit?
It's getting close to closing time I am on the dancefloor and I bump into cute brunette. Artsy brunette is nowhere to be seen. She seems keen so I bring her close to me. My leg is grinding against her pussy and she seems to be loving it. We exchange a few words then I give her the sex eyes and hold it there. We then proceed to make out. She basically eats my face off.
She tells me she has to leave soon and she can't leave her friends. I ask her where she's staying. She says at the Grand Hyatt and I tell her my place is only five minutes away. We make out for abit then she says "let me talk to my friends". I'm dancing away, waiting for her to come back...grrr! She doesn't. The venue is starting to die down and I'm looking around to find her but she's nowhere to be seen.
I don't know if I could have done anything more. I suggested we goto my place but maybe wasn't persistent enough. I could have extracted her to the Grand Hyatt toilets in the lobby but it didn't cross my mind at the time. I spent the rest of the night dancing with whoever else was still around.
Oakes Day
Thursday night I was sitting in front of my computer and was bored as hell so I decided to check out Spice Market again. It was Oakes Day and Thursday is ladies night at Spice Market. I go there and there were some sexy ladies but I couldn't get myself to talk to them. I did a few approaches at the bar and dancefloor. It was more a friendly and social night for me. It's been a while since I've done stuff solo so I thought I document it reminding me I can go out and still have a good time solo.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Goals to reach in the next 90 days
I re-wrote my goals a while back and hadn't got around to posting them. Just to show I haven't been dormant. I thought I write up my goals and my current progress.
Become comfortable touching girls 04/11/2010 - 04/02/2011
Though touching girls is not something I have trouble with. I don't do it enough. I feel my game is compartmentalised. If I'm talking to girls, I talk to them. If I'm physical, I'm physical. I don't really blend the two together well and I feel this is where I am falling short with alot of sexy ladies. So far I have made a conscious effort to touch girls and get closer more often.
Progress: You can read my recent nightgame field reports. I have been very direct with my approaches and getting physical very fast with some success. Though I still have a very long way to go.
Become comfortable isolating girls 04/11/2010 - 04/02/2011
Something that I don't do enough. Or ever really. I feel when I am one-on-one with a girl I am able to take the interaction where I want it to go. But again I don't do it enough and this is limiting my experience and success with women.
Progress: I'm not pushing for isolation enough. It's not something I am doing consciously.
Be able to show my intent with clarity 04/11/2010 - 04/02/2011
I've managed to meet some of the sexiest women ever and yet they have been giving me the run around. I feel this comes down to not being clear with my intent. Because I'm not clear with my intent, I am sending mixed signals and this is where women are playing games with me. I need to be clear so that I know where I stand so that I am not lingering on a weak lead.
Progress: I've only shown it when the girl is reciprocating towards my advances. I need to do it regardless.
Read and practice "The Presence Process" by Michael Brown 04/11/2010 - 04/02/2011
As a result of doing Vipassana I wanted to dig even deeper into understanding why I behave the way I do and be more aware of the world in which I live. I have listened to Michael Brown's audios and I feel his teachings resonate well with me. I feel going through this process will be of great benefit to me.
Progress: I'm towards the end of week 2 of The Presence Process. I have brought some sensations to the surface but nothing life changing yet. I feel I am alot more responsive in my day-to-day life and not so much reactive.
Finish 5 self development books 04/11/2010 - 04/02/2011
I want to make this a conscious habit. Before this year I could probably count the number of books I have read since high school on my fingers. I have achieved an enormous amount of growth as a person organically by acting on what I felt was right. Now it's time to add some science to it put my development on steroids.
Progress: I've read 4 and well on my way to finishing 5. Ever since I've come back from Vipassana, my capacity to comprehend information is off the charts. Speed reading has also helped my enjoyment for reading.
Compete in a BJJ comp 04/11/2010 - 04/02/2011
I know deep down I am a competitive person but for a long time it has been supressed. As a kid I was a very strong junior tennis player. I had a very domineering style which would rip people apart. I think somewhere during my teenage years I was made to feel guilty about beating people. I had a desire to be liked rather than win. I need something to cultivate that killer again.
Progress: I haven't trained at all since I wrote this up. I have to get off my ass. Khoi are you a winner? or a fucking pussy?
Have $2000 worth of shares 04/11/2010 - 04/02/2011
Money has always been an issue for me and I feel the need to lay some foundations for my future. I have recently read "Secrets to the Millionaire Mind" by T. Harv Eker. It's a great read. It's the first book I've read which goes into the mindset of someone rich rather than a how-to guide. Alot of the concepts tie in well with all the inner game work I am doing at the moment.
Progress: I already have about $1000 already. I have another $1000 ready to invest next week.
Get a tablet PC 04/11/2010 - 04/02/2011
I tend to operate better when things are accessible to me. I feel as I am always running around I don't have the time to catch up on alot of things and always feel flooded and I don't get anything done. I feel with a tablet PC I will be alot more productive and get alot of things done as I will always have it with me.
Progress: I've seen a few I like and I should have enough to get me one in time for Christmas.
Mentor 3 guys regularly 04/11/2010 - 04/02/2011
The most rewarding experiences I have had this year have come from helping other guys. I feel it inspires me to improve myself and I seem to be more successful with women when I am coming from a place of giving value to others.
0 guys at the moment. I better get working.
Be able to be sexual with girls 04/11/2010 - 04/02/2011
I feel the way I express my sexuality is one dimensional and I feel I need to be abit to show my sexuality on more than one level.
Progress: I am still being one dimensional. I have to start working through 100 ways to show interest and intent.
Corruption - no more mr nice guy 04/11/2010 - 04/02/2011
I've been too nice for too long. It has not served me. I sit here and watch others get what I feel I should be having. It's time to fucking empower myself and fucking get shit done!
Progress: I have been going through Matt's burn the nice guy. A few coaches from the Melbourne Lair have also suggested some ideas as well. Based on the fact I am being alot more direct when I go out at night, it must be having some effect on me.
Become comfortable touching girls 04/11/2010 - 04/02/2011
Though touching girls is not something I have trouble with. I don't do it enough. I feel my game is compartmentalised. If I'm talking to girls, I talk to them. If I'm physical, I'm physical. I don't really blend the two together well and I feel this is where I am falling short with alot of sexy ladies. So far I have made a conscious effort to touch girls and get closer more often.
Progress: You can read my recent nightgame field reports. I have been very direct with my approaches and getting physical very fast with some success. Though I still have a very long way to go.
Become comfortable isolating girls 04/11/2010 - 04/02/2011
Something that I don't do enough. Or ever really. I feel when I am one-on-one with a girl I am able to take the interaction where I want it to go. But again I don't do it enough and this is limiting my experience and success with women.
Progress: I'm not pushing for isolation enough. It's not something I am doing consciously.
Be able to show my intent with clarity 04/11/2010 - 04/02/2011
I've managed to meet some of the sexiest women ever and yet they have been giving me the run around. I feel this comes down to not being clear with my intent. Because I'm not clear with my intent, I am sending mixed signals and this is where women are playing games with me. I need to be clear so that I know where I stand so that I am not lingering on a weak lead.
Progress: I've only shown it when the girl is reciprocating towards my advances. I need to do it regardless.
Read and practice "The Presence Process" by Michael Brown 04/11/2010 - 04/02/2011
As a result of doing Vipassana I wanted to dig even deeper into understanding why I behave the way I do and be more aware of the world in which I live. I have listened to Michael Brown's audios and I feel his teachings resonate well with me. I feel going through this process will be of great benefit to me.
Progress: I'm towards the end of week 2 of The Presence Process. I have brought some sensations to the surface but nothing life changing yet. I feel I am alot more responsive in my day-to-day life and not so much reactive.
Finish 5 self development books 04/11/2010 - 04/02/2011
I want to make this a conscious habit. Before this year I could probably count the number of books I have read since high school on my fingers. I have achieved an enormous amount of growth as a person organically by acting on what I felt was right. Now it's time to add some science to it put my development on steroids.
Progress: I've read 4 and well on my way to finishing 5. Ever since I've come back from Vipassana, my capacity to comprehend information is off the charts. Speed reading has also helped my enjoyment for reading.
Compete in a BJJ comp 04/11/2010 - 04/02/2011
I know deep down I am a competitive person but for a long time it has been supressed. As a kid I was a very strong junior tennis player. I had a very domineering style which would rip people apart. I think somewhere during my teenage years I was made to feel guilty about beating people. I had a desire to be liked rather than win. I need something to cultivate that killer again.
Progress: I haven't trained at all since I wrote this up. I have to get off my ass. Khoi are you a winner? or a fucking pussy?
Have $2000 worth of shares 04/11/2010 - 04/02/2011
Money has always been an issue for me and I feel the need to lay some foundations for my future. I have recently read "Secrets to the Millionaire Mind" by T. Harv Eker. It's a great read. It's the first book I've read which goes into the mindset of someone rich rather than a how-to guide. Alot of the concepts tie in well with all the inner game work I am doing at the moment.
Progress: I already have about $1000 already. I have another $1000 ready to invest next week.
Get a tablet PC 04/11/2010 - 04/02/2011
I tend to operate better when things are accessible to me. I feel as I am always running around I don't have the time to catch up on alot of things and always feel flooded and I don't get anything done. I feel with a tablet PC I will be alot more productive and get alot of things done as I will always have it with me.
Progress: I've seen a few I like and I should have enough to get me one in time for Christmas.
Mentor 3 guys regularly 04/11/2010 - 04/02/2011
The most rewarding experiences I have had this year have come from helping other guys. I feel it inspires me to improve myself and I seem to be more successful with women when I am coming from a place of giving value to others.
0 guys at the moment. I better get working.
Be able to be sexual with girls 04/11/2010 - 04/02/2011
I feel the way I express my sexuality is one dimensional and I feel I need to be abit to show my sexuality on more than one level.
Progress: I am still being one dimensional. I have to start working through 100 ways to show interest and intent.
Corruption - no more mr nice guy 04/11/2010 - 04/02/2011
I've been too nice for too long. It has not served me. I sit here and watch others get what I feel I should be having. It's time to fucking empower myself and fucking get shit done!
Progress: I have been going through Matt's burn the nice guy. A few coaches from the Melbourne Lair have also suggested some ideas as well. Based on the fact I am being alot more direct when I go out at night, it must be having some effect on me.
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