Currently I work for the NAB as a mainframe computer operator. When I first started I had the energy and the enthusiasm any just out of uni graduate would have. I was keen to learn and I was eager to put my hand up for anything that would come up.
I guess in recent times I have begun to feel abit drained from the routine and grind from handling repetitive task as well as handing major incidents whereby people aren't taking responsibility for their own problems. It's hard to handle these problems because you know they're going nowhere and to top it off we have to fill in paperwork to document it.
So far my blog has document my progress in pick-up as well has my personal development but, as requested by my coach (Matt), I am now putting in entries highlighting my progress at work. I have benefitted alot from journaling my progress in pick-up. I feel like writing down what has happened during my interactions has allowed my to clear up the conscious mind and allow subconscious to do the learning. It also gives me a clear chronological progression of my development over time.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Emotional Reactions - How do you feel?
Right now I'm sitting in front of my computer and I feel like at peace with myself. I think having done this task though I'm aware of the feelings that I feel when I experience fear, sadness, etc..., I don't feel in any way affected by it. It might be because I've just come from the gym and I've got some blood pumping, it could be the long chat I had with my friend Katey before then or it could be knowing that the future looks bright. :)
Friday, April 23, 2010
Letting go and moving forward
24/04/2010
As I am typing this I am at work with only four hours sleep so forgive me if this doesn't make sense. Over the last month I have really begun to see alot of changes start to integrate into my lifesyle, my mindset, my identity and my overall view on the world. I find myself being alot more open and honest about who I am and I feel I am able to connect with others on an amazingly deep level. I am having some of the most richest experiences I have ever thought possible. I am building an amazing network of friends who are on the same path as me. I feel like I have an amazing future to look forward to.
Last night I went out with my close friends who I hadn't seen in a while. I thought this would be a great time to catch up as for many reasons we just haven't been able to meet up. My mate J called me a day before eager to have us all go out to CQ. I was reluctant at first but he mentioned he was having a rough time and he needed the boys with him. So I thought "OK, I am a good friend. I'll come along for support because that's what friends do."
I had been working all day and looking forward to heading out. It's hometime and I drive straight towards the city. As I am driving up there, I get a call from A asking where I am. I tell him I am driving and he asks if I can give himself and N a lift. I am more than happy to so I drive down to A's house.
I arrive at A's house and I'm waiting for the guys to get ready. I'm getting restless because they're taking forever to get ready. Already we're late and J is already in the city waiting for us.
Finally, the guys are ready so off we goto CQ. We haven't heard from R so N gives him a call. R is the one organising this thing and it sounds like he isn't coming afterall. I thought to myself "typical." R is always one to piss/fart around. We arrive at CQ abit late but we still get in. R manages to show up and we start off with a few drinks.
N and I were on the dancefloor while the rest of the guys were off to get some drinks. As I was dancing I spot someone who looked familiar. It was S, I know her boyfriend P. I come over and say hi and we exchange a few words. N comes over and I introduce him. We dance for a bit and the rest of the boys come over. Next thing I know I'm being shut out by my own friends.
I was feeling down and I was ready to leave. I remember telling J that I was going to leave soon because I have work. J responded "I understand. I understand. We're holding you back."
Watching as those who I thought were my close friends were shutting me out brought me back to that dark place where I once was. Lonely. Trying to fit in. Desperate to be seen. I am being held back. I knew this for a long time but I didn't do anything about it. In the past few months I have built a circle of friends who I feel are more dependable and are on the same path as I am. I feel that in the past, the fear of being lonely stopped me from walking away from friends who were holding me back. When I tried to avoid them I'd always come crawling back because of the fear of being lonely.
I feel I am now ready to cut those who don't serve me out of my life and bring forward those who will help me bring great things into my life as well as help those who are looking to make a change in theirs. I know it won't be an easy thing to do but at the same time it's the price I'll have to pay to live the life I have worked so hard to build.
As I am typing this I am at work with only four hours sleep so forgive me if this doesn't make sense. Over the last month I have really begun to see alot of changes start to integrate into my lifesyle, my mindset, my identity and my overall view on the world. I find myself being alot more open and honest about who I am and I feel I am able to connect with others on an amazingly deep level. I am having some of the most richest experiences I have ever thought possible. I am building an amazing network of friends who are on the same path as me. I feel like I have an amazing future to look forward to.
Last night I went out with my close friends who I hadn't seen in a while. I thought this would be a great time to catch up as for many reasons we just haven't been able to meet up. My mate J called me a day before eager to have us all go out to CQ. I was reluctant at first but he mentioned he was having a rough time and he needed the boys with him. So I thought "OK, I am a good friend. I'll come along for support because that's what friends do."
I had been working all day and looking forward to heading out. It's hometime and I drive straight towards the city. As I am driving up there, I get a call from A asking where I am. I tell him I am driving and he asks if I can give himself and N a lift. I am more than happy to so I drive down to A's house.
I arrive at A's house and I'm waiting for the guys to get ready. I'm getting restless because they're taking forever to get ready. Already we're late and J is already in the city waiting for us.
Finally, the guys are ready so off we goto CQ. We haven't heard from R so N gives him a call. R is the one organising this thing and it sounds like he isn't coming afterall. I thought to myself "typical." R is always one to piss/fart around. We arrive at CQ abit late but we still get in. R manages to show up and we start off with a few drinks.
N and I were on the dancefloor while the rest of the guys were off to get some drinks. As I was dancing I spot someone who looked familiar. It was S, I know her boyfriend P. I come over and say hi and we exchange a few words. N comes over and I introduce him. We dance for a bit and the rest of the boys come over. Next thing I know I'm being shut out by my own friends.
I was feeling down and I was ready to leave. I remember telling J that I was going to leave soon because I have work. J responded "I understand. I understand. We're holding you back."
Watching as those who I thought were my close friends were shutting me out brought me back to that dark place where I once was. Lonely. Trying to fit in. Desperate to be seen. I am being held back. I knew this for a long time but I didn't do anything about it. In the past few months I have built a circle of friends who I feel are more dependable and are on the same path as I am. I feel that in the past, the fear of being lonely stopped me from walking away from friends who were holding me back. When I tried to avoid them I'd always come crawling back because of the fear of being lonely.
I feel I am now ready to cut those who don't serve me out of my life and bring forward those who will help me bring great things into my life as well as help those who are looking to make a change in theirs. I know it won't be an easy thing to do but at the same time it's the price I'll have to pay to live the life I have worked so hard to build.
Monday, April 19, 2010
I'm not the only one doing this
20/02/2010
Yesterday was a pretty good day for daygame. I guess it was because I had people with me with the same idea in mind, meeting beautiful women. My first impression of the guys from the Melbourne Lair was a negative one. From the people I had met, they were all talk and no action. Yes, in the beginning I was a little shy and had little experience but at least I was willing to give it a shot. So at the time I thought the Lair was a waste of time so I thought I do this on my own. Of those people I met when I first joined the Lair, I dont't think any of them are still actively trying to improve themselves.
More recently I have been more active on the Lair by attending some of their free seminars and also attending their wing nights. In this time I have been more active on the Lair my perception has changed. I've have been fortunate enough to meet some awesome guys who are willing to take action in the effort to take control of their lives. I feel this is my opportunity to give back as I have been very fortunate to have the success I've had so far. I see a great bunch of guys who I feel are in a much better place than I was when I first started learning pick-up. Even though I am not where I want to be in terms of bringing quality women into my life, I feel that I can relate to guys in my situation and help direct them to where they need to go based on the experiences I've had so far.
Soooo...I wake up this morning and text some of the lair guys to see if they were down for abit of day game. Most of the guys turned me down and I thought to myself "I got some stuff to do. Maybe tomorrow." Then I get a call from Sammy, a guy I'm doing the Approach Energy class with. One of the guys I texted passed my number onto him. He was down for daygame so it was off to the city we go!
Approach #1: HELP! RAPE!...Well not really.
Sammy and I were walking along Swanston St and I spot a cute blonde walking towards me. I go in and approach but as I am walking towards her I see an even better blonde walk towards me. I walk towards her and give her a light touch and she freaks out. I open mild direct but I think by this point she was looking to get rid of me.
Approach #2: Cute blonde on her lunch break
Sammy and I were walking along the makeup section in Bourke St mall and I spot a gorgeous blonde in her work outfit. I open mild direct and she was very receptive. I must admit I was talking abit too fast and I was very nervous. I go for the close but she says she has a boyfriend though she was happy to give me her email.
Approach #3: She looks cute from behind...let's see how she looks in front.
I see a girl walking inside Melbourne Central. Now she looks alright from behind but I had to find out how she looks from the front. So I go after her and open direct. She doesn't look too bad but shes Asian...I don't really go for Asian girls but anyway I kept going with it. I felt there was a bit of a language barrier I had to deal with but she was very receptive. She has come over to Australia to study her masters. Very impressive. I go for the number close by which she is happy to give. Now she's cute but for me personally I don't think I want to pursue this further. I just don't think my heart will be in it.
Approach #4: Flirty saleswoman
I see Sammy talking to one of the salesgirls at a skincare stand, he seems to be doing well so I walk into Politix to check out some blazers. There were only guys in the store but I'm in need of some new threads so I tried on a few jackets. Once done I saw Sammy still chatting with the sales girl so I thought I come over and have a chat with one of the other sales girls. I ask her what she has to sell and she goes over her products. She's showing me the product range while I throw abit of playful banter with her. She's very recpetive and is playing along with it. Anyway long story short, I came in with no intention of buying anything to almost considering buying their products...I must say I'm no skincare expert but I was very impressed.
Approach #5: Jetty Surf chick
I think by this point I had walked way too many laps around the city, so I decide to goto Bourke St mall and sit on the bench and look out for any pretty ladies. I look over across the road and I spot a gorgeous blonde walk across the road and I'm feeling reluctant to approach. Then I see a couple of Lair guys from across the road looking at the same girl and I'm thinking to myself "Shit! OK I have to do this." So I get up and walk towards her and open direct. She was very receptive and we were exchanging some playful banter. I go for the close but she says she has a boyfriend then I say we can be best friends. She says she works at Jetty Surf and to come see her there. We exchange a few more words before we part ways. I think I might have scored myself some cheap snowboarding gear...we'll see how that goes.
Approach #5: Blonde in elegant dress
So after I approach the Jetty Surf chick the Lair guys I saw earlier, Dean and Ling, walked over to say hi. Turns out they're here for the same reason I am so we decide to continue together. We are walking along Elizabeth St and I spot a gorgeous blonde in an elegant summery dresss. I walk after her and open direct she seems quite open at first but the interaction seems to drop. I go for the close but she says she has a boyfriend so we part ways.
Approach #6: Cute blondie
Ling and I were sitting at the steps at fed square while Dean was talking to a cute brunette. I thought he was doing very well. He comes back and sits with us and we decide it's slim pickings here and we should try Bourke St mall. As we leave Dean spots a girl going one way and a girl going another. I see the blonde and Dean says "I'll approach this one and you approach that one." I'm like "done!" so I walk after the blondie. She stops at the traffic lights with "how's your day going?" She doesn't seem very responsive but I keep going. I couldn't get her to open up so much so I figure I let her go.
Approach #7: Alex!
Alex is a girl I met a few months ago. At the time it was her first day in Australia and I remember we had a really fun and playful interaction. All I could get at the time was her facebook so I rolled with that. Dean, Ling and I were walking along Collins and as I am walking I see her from hy peripheral vision and I quickly turn look away then turn back and I'm like "Alex!" We have a chat about her adventures in Australia and what I've been upto. We agree to have a drink later on so I get her number.
Things to take away:
- Lair guys are great to kick start you into some interactions
- I can see some dramatic improvements
- Women are fun to talk to
- A little bit of momentum goes a long long way.
Yesterday was a pretty good day for daygame. I guess it was because I had people with me with the same idea in mind, meeting beautiful women. My first impression of the guys from the Melbourne Lair was a negative one. From the people I had met, they were all talk and no action. Yes, in the beginning I was a little shy and had little experience but at least I was willing to give it a shot. So at the time I thought the Lair was a waste of time so I thought I do this on my own. Of those people I met when I first joined the Lair, I dont't think any of them are still actively trying to improve themselves.
More recently I have been more active on the Lair by attending some of their free seminars and also attending their wing nights. In this time I have been more active on the Lair my perception has changed. I've have been fortunate enough to meet some awesome guys who are willing to take action in the effort to take control of their lives. I feel this is my opportunity to give back as I have been very fortunate to have the success I've had so far. I see a great bunch of guys who I feel are in a much better place than I was when I first started learning pick-up. Even though I am not where I want to be in terms of bringing quality women into my life, I feel that I can relate to guys in my situation and help direct them to where they need to go based on the experiences I've had so far.
Soooo...I wake up this morning and text some of the lair guys to see if they were down for abit of day game. Most of the guys turned me down and I thought to myself "I got some stuff to do. Maybe tomorrow." Then I get a call from Sammy, a guy I'm doing the Approach Energy class with. One of the guys I texted passed my number onto him. He was down for daygame so it was off to the city we go!
Approach #1: HELP! RAPE!...Well not really.
Sammy and I were walking along Swanston St and I spot a cute blonde walking towards me. I go in and approach but as I am walking towards her I see an even better blonde walk towards me. I walk towards her and give her a light touch and she freaks out. I open mild direct but I think by this point she was looking to get rid of me.
Approach #2: Cute blonde on her lunch break
Sammy and I were walking along the makeup section in Bourke St mall and I spot a gorgeous blonde in her work outfit. I open mild direct and she was very receptive. I must admit I was talking abit too fast and I was very nervous. I go for the close but she says she has a boyfriend though she was happy to give me her email.
Approach #3: She looks cute from behind...let's see how she looks in front.
I see a girl walking inside Melbourne Central. Now she looks alright from behind but I had to find out how she looks from the front. So I go after her and open direct. She doesn't look too bad but shes Asian...I don't really go for Asian girls but anyway I kept going with it. I felt there was a bit of a language barrier I had to deal with but she was very receptive. She has come over to Australia to study her masters. Very impressive. I go for the number close by which she is happy to give. Now she's cute but for me personally I don't think I want to pursue this further. I just don't think my heart will be in it.
Approach #4: Flirty saleswoman
I see Sammy talking to one of the salesgirls at a skincare stand, he seems to be doing well so I walk into Politix to check out some blazers. There were only guys in the store but I'm in need of some new threads so I tried on a few jackets. Once done I saw Sammy still chatting with the sales girl so I thought I come over and have a chat with one of the other sales girls. I ask her what she has to sell and she goes over her products. She's showing me the product range while I throw abit of playful banter with her. She's very recpetive and is playing along with it. Anyway long story short, I came in with no intention of buying anything to almost considering buying their products...I must say I'm no skincare expert but I was very impressed.
Approach #5: Jetty Surf chick
I think by this point I had walked way too many laps around the city, so I decide to goto Bourke St mall and sit on the bench and look out for any pretty ladies. I look over across the road and I spot a gorgeous blonde walk across the road and I'm feeling reluctant to approach. Then I see a couple of Lair guys from across the road looking at the same girl and I'm thinking to myself "Shit! OK I have to do this." So I get up and walk towards her and open direct. She was very receptive and we were exchanging some playful banter. I go for the close but she says she has a boyfriend then I say we can be best friends. She says she works at Jetty Surf and to come see her there. We exchange a few more words before we part ways. I think I might have scored myself some cheap snowboarding gear...we'll see how that goes.
Approach #5: Blonde in elegant dress
So after I approach the Jetty Surf chick the Lair guys I saw earlier, Dean and Ling, walked over to say hi. Turns out they're here for the same reason I am so we decide to continue together. We are walking along Elizabeth St and I spot a gorgeous blonde in an elegant summery dresss. I walk after her and open direct she seems quite open at first but the interaction seems to drop. I go for the close but she says she has a boyfriend so we part ways.
Approach #6: Cute blondie
Ling and I were sitting at the steps at fed square while Dean was talking to a cute brunette. I thought he was doing very well. He comes back and sits with us and we decide it's slim pickings here and we should try Bourke St mall. As we leave Dean spots a girl going one way and a girl going another. I see the blonde and Dean says "I'll approach this one and you approach that one." I'm like "done!" so I walk after the blondie. She stops at the traffic lights with "how's your day going?" She doesn't seem very responsive but I keep going. I couldn't get her to open up so much so I figure I let her go.
Approach #7: Alex!
Alex is a girl I met a few months ago. At the time it was her first day in Australia and I remember we had a really fun and playful interaction. All I could get at the time was her facebook so I rolled with that. Dean, Ling and I were walking along Collins and as I am walking I see her from hy peripheral vision and I quickly turn look away then turn back and I'm like "Alex!" We have a chat about her adventures in Australia and what I've been upto. We agree to have a drink later on so I get her number.
Things to take away:
- Lair guys are great to kick start you into some interactions
- I can see some dramatic improvements
- Women are fun to talk to
- A little bit of momentum goes a long long way.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Bad nights just get better. My story and how I got into pickup.
On Friday night, I went out to Spice Market with Alex from the Art of Suave and a couple of guys doing one of his bootcamps. It's one of my favourite spots in Melbourne. The environment is really laid back, people are friendly, the music isn't overpowering and the women are just absolutely beautiful. It was nice to just chill out and mingle with the crowd. I would approach a few groups and have a few fun, lighthearted conversations, a few drinks. It felt great. There was a moment when I was introduced to a couple of girls by one of my mates. Now this was quite interesting. One of them told me that when she looked at my eyes she thought there was something about me. I was intrigued and I digged deeper. She brought up spirituality and I started talking about life experiences and how we've become who we are. Then she told her friend and she got involved as well. It was beautiful and of all places to have a conversation of this nature, Spice Market? A high powered superficial environment. Who would have thought I could have a conversation so deep with two incredibly beautiful women.
Anyway, me and the boys leave Spice Market and goto Baroq, another one of my favourite night spots. We arrive there and we have a few drinks and mingle with some of Melbourne's finest. I hit the dancefloor and rock to the music to the early hours of the morning. At one point, I was on the dancefloor and out of nowhere this gorgeous blonde grabs me from behind and performs some kind of dancefloor rape. I have to say it was one of the most sexually charged experiences I've had on the dancefloor. We were exchanging a few words and my eyes were glued onto her. I thought to myself "Awesome! It's on tonight!" The club was closing and I was trying to sort out logistics with the gorgeous blonde. Only to find out she was going home with someone else. I was gutted. It was like the universe was playing a cruel trick on me. I went home feeling heartbroken.
In the last 7-8 months I have been learning the skills of picking up women with the assistance of Alex (Mr. Dating Coach) and some guys from Melbourne's seduction community. Every guy who gets into this has a story so heres mine. From a very young age I was always seen as the quiet Asian kid and was always an easy target for being bullied. Add to that I lived with four strongminded and abitious sisters and I went to an all boys school. So my confidence in interacting with women really sucked ass. I didn't have my first girlfriend till I was 19 and that wasn't by choice. To top it off she was absolutely rubbish! I would treat her the way I thought girls wanted to be treated. I called her everyday, I bought her flowers, jewellery... I know! I was whipped! With the effort I was putting in, she was treating me like shit. She'd go off at me for petty shit and me being a pussy I thought it had something to do with me. It got to the point where I had enough and I cut it off.
My friends were what you would call naturals. They just seem to be great with women. They would go out every weekend and I would watch as they would make out with some random girl in the club. I hated clubs! I just never saw the point of going. I would be in there standing there and watching people walk through me as if I didn't exist. On top of that, I couldn't find the courage to go up to a girl and talk to her. What do I say? What would she think of me? What would my friends think of me if I fuck up? What would everyone in the club think of me?
Fast forward a few years, since my first girlfriend I hadn't dated anyone. I remember I was about 22 and I was unemployed. I think at the time I was guaranteed a job offer from a large accounting firm but the time to process my job application was taking a while. So during that time I did alot of reading. Books, magazines, internet...anything to keep me occupied while I was waiting to start working again. One day I came across an ad in a magazine which something like attract any girl or something along those lines. I went to the website and thought the site was dodgy. So having seen the ad I wanted to know what other alternatives there were so I did a search on Google on how to pick up women and from that search I found an ebook called "The Game".
From reading the book, I discovered the Mystery Method, a set of skills, routines, tactics... aimed at picking up beautiful women. At the time I thought "WOW!" there's some hope for me. I was excited but at the same time there was another problem. I wore thick glasses, I had braces with elastics sticking out and all these springs and weird appliances in my mouth and I was losing hair. This didn't give me alot of confidence. Putting these skills to practice was going to be a problem for me because I thought women wouldn't be attracted to me because of my self-image issues. The next couple of years I would search online and read a whole bunch of ebooks of becoming better with women.
Fast forward again 2-3 years, I had my braces off, I now wear contacts and I have a shaved head. Now on a surface level I appeared attractive. Did my success with women change? Nope. One, I had massive approach anxiety and couldn't get myself to approach women. Two, I still had some deep core underlying beliefs which were stopping me from being the man I wanted to be. I knew there was a man inside of me who was wanting to come out but I didn't know how to free him. I was worried about what others would think of me. Would they be able to handle someone who was perceived to be different?
So what changed? A year had past and I was lonely, I was depressed, I was terribly miserable. Was this the life I was destined to live? I remember celebrating new years and watching everyone around me filled with excitement and I was just standing there not feeling a thing. I thought to myself "this is supposed to be the most amazing night of the year and I don't feel a thing." I made the decision from that point to do one thing each day that would allow me to free myself emotionally. Coming from an Asian background, we're not brought up to express our emotions whether they are good or bad. For a long time I had bottled up alot of emotions which were holding me back.
Changes didn't happen overnight but I found myself over time feeling more and more comfortable in my own skin. When I was going out, though I wasn't meeting girls I was having a good time. A major turning point for me was at a music festival called Trance Energy. That day I had taken a handful of ecstasy pills as well as some speed. I was buzzing like crazy...I felt like God! I felt like I could do anything and noone could stop me. I was dancing like a maniac and I was going up to people and talking to them. I remember at one point I was calling out to this super hot brunette to come over to talk to me and to my amazement she came over. I think my experience at Trance Energy showed me what could be possible.
After my Trance Energy experience, I found myself wanting to go out more and more. I still couldn't talk to people. Usually I'd need to have drugs or alcohol just so that I could talk to people. Some nights I'd have beautiful women approach me just because of my energy in the clubs whether my state was chemically altered or not. Months would pass and though women would approach me, I just didn't know what to do or what to say. I felt stupid sometimes. I knew something had to be done. I went back to all the pickup stuff I had downloaded but I knew it wasn't going to get me to approach women. I needed to be put in a situation where I had no choice but to approach. I went online and searched for pickup bootcamps. That's when I found Alex and the Art of Suave. I bit the bullet and forked out the cash to do a bootcamp.
I remember the day I did the bootcamp (it was the day Michael Jackson died RIP). Alot of thoughts were going in my head. What have I got myself into? Will I really get my money's worth? Will this be the thing which changes my success with women for good? What if I don't approach? What if people found out I was doing this?
The first night was abit of a drainer. Going through four hours of pick-up theory was abit too much to absorb. We went to transport for the infield. When I talk to the guys in the pick up community, alot of them seem to remember their first approach vividly. I can't seem to remember mine to well. Though I can remember it was a group set and it went quite well. I even had one of the girls in the group slap me on the ass later on in the night. It got to the point where I was feeling major anxiety and I couldn't approach anymore. I left feeling this is the start of something amazing.
The next night was abit different. I was approaching left right and centre (though there were some periods where I was feeling really anxious). Women were having fun with me and enjoying my company. I could have done alot more that night but I feel I had rejected myself before the ladies rejected me. That night was a big stepping stone for me in becoming more successful with women.
Months have past since I did the bootcamp. I've had some amazing moments and I've also had some heartbreaking moments. I look back to the moments I had on Friday night and I ask myself "would that have happened a year ago?" No way! If it wasn't for Alex and the seduction community, none of this wouldn't have happened. I think I would have still been that creepy wallflower, scared of his surroundings hoping someone would come to save me but noone ever would. Never in my own mind would I have thought I would have interactions where women would find me fun to be around. Never in my own mind would I have thought I could get into deep meaningful conversations with beautiful women. Never would I have thought beautiful women would be attracted to me. As heartbreaking as Friday was, I look back a year ago and realise how far I have come as a person. A bad night for me a year ago was me being scared within my surroundings, looking for a way out as soon as possible. A bad night now is interacting and connecting with beautiful women and missing out on an opportunity to hook up. I can only imagine what a bad night for me will be in a years time.
Anyway, me and the boys leave Spice Market and goto Baroq, another one of my favourite night spots. We arrive there and we have a few drinks and mingle with some of Melbourne's finest. I hit the dancefloor and rock to the music to the early hours of the morning. At one point, I was on the dancefloor and out of nowhere this gorgeous blonde grabs me from behind and performs some kind of dancefloor rape. I have to say it was one of the most sexually charged experiences I've had on the dancefloor. We were exchanging a few words and my eyes were glued onto her. I thought to myself "Awesome! It's on tonight!" The club was closing and I was trying to sort out logistics with the gorgeous blonde. Only to find out she was going home with someone else. I was gutted. It was like the universe was playing a cruel trick on me. I went home feeling heartbroken.
In the last 7-8 months I have been learning the skills of picking up women with the assistance of Alex (Mr. Dating Coach) and some guys from Melbourne's seduction community. Every guy who gets into this has a story so heres mine. From a very young age I was always seen as the quiet Asian kid and was always an easy target for being bullied. Add to that I lived with four strongminded and abitious sisters and I went to an all boys school. So my confidence in interacting with women really sucked ass. I didn't have my first girlfriend till I was 19 and that wasn't by choice. To top it off she was absolutely rubbish! I would treat her the way I thought girls wanted to be treated. I called her everyday, I bought her flowers, jewellery... I know! I was whipped! With the effort I was putting in, she was treating me like shit. She'd go off at me for petty shit and me being a pussy I thought it had something to do with me. It got to the point where I had enough and I cut it off.
My friends were what you would call naturals. They just seem to be great with women. They would go out every weekend and I would watch as they would make out with some random girl in the club. I hated clubs! I just never saw the point of going. I would be in there standing there and watching people walk through me as if I didn't exist. On top of that, I couldn't find the courage to go up to a girl and talk to her. What do I say? What would she think of me? What would my friends think of me if I fuck up? What would everyone in the club think of me?
Fast forward a few years, since my first girlfriend I hadn't dated anyone. I remember I was about 22 and I was unemployed. I think at the time I was guaranteed a job offer from a large accounting firm but the time to process my job application was taking a while. So during that time I did alot of reading. Books, magazines, internet...anything to keep me occupied while I was waiting to start working again. One day I came across an ad in a magazine which something like attract any girl or something along those lines. I went to the website and thought the site was dodgy. So having seen the ad I wanted to know what other alternatives there were so I did a search on Google on how to pick up women and from that search I found an ebook called "The Game".
From reading the book, I discovered the Mystery Method, a set of skills, routines, tactics... aimed at picking up beautiful women. At the time I thought "WOW!" there's some hope for me. I was excited but at the same time there was another problem. I wore thick glasses, I had braces with elastics sticking out and all these springs and weird appliances in my mouth and I was losing hair. This didn't give me alot of confidence. Putting these skills to practice was going to be a problem for me because I thought women wouldn't be attracted to me because of my self-image issues. The next couple of years I would search online and read a whole bunch of ebooks of becoming better with women.
Fast forward again 2-3 years, I had my braces off, I now wear contacts and I have a shaved head. Now on a surface level I appeared attractive. Did my success with women change? Nope. One, I had massive approach anxiety and couldn't get myself to approach women. Two, I still had some deep core underlying beliefs which were stopping me from being the man I wanted to be. I knew there was a man inside of me who was wanting to come out but I didn't know how to free him. I was worried about what others would think of me. Would they be able to handle someone who was perceived to be different?
So what changed? A year had past and I was lonely, I was depressed, I was terribly miserable. Was this the life I was destined to live? I remember celebrating new years and watching everyone around me filled with excitement and I was just standing there not feeling a thing. I thought to myself "this is supposed to be the most amazing night of the year and I don't feel a thing." I made the decision from that point to do one thing each day that would allow me to free myself emotionally. Coming from an Asian background, we're not brought up to express our emotions whether they are good or bad. For a long time I had bottled up alot of emotions which were holding me back.
Changes didn't happen overnight but I found myself over time feeling more and more comfortable in my own skin. When I was going out, though I wasn't meeting girls I was having a good time. A major turning point for me was at a music festival called Trance Energy. That day I had taken a handful of ecstasy pills as well as some speed. I was buzzing like crazy...I felt like God! I felt like I could do anything and noone could stop me. I was dancing like a maniac and I was going up to people and talking to them. I remember at one point I was calling out to this super hot brunette to come over to talk to me and to my amazement she came over. I think my experience at Trance Energy showed me what could be possible.
After my Trance Energy experience, I found myself wanting to go out more and more. I still couldn't talk to people. Usually I'd need to have drugs or alcohol just so that I could talk to people. Some nights I'd have beautiful women approach me just because of my energy in the clubs whether my state was chemically altered or not. Months would pass and though women would approach me, I just didn't know what to do or what to say. I felt stupid sometimes. I knew something had to be done. I went back to all the pickup stuff I had downloaded but I knew it wasn't going to get me to approach women. I needed to be put in a situation where I had no choice but to approach. I went online and searched for pickup bootcamps. That's when I found Alex and the Art of Suave. I bit the bullet and forked out the cash to do a bootcamp.
I remember the day I did the bootcamp (it was the day Michael Jackson died RIP). Alot of thoughts were going in my head. What have I got myself into? Will I really get my money's worth? Will this be the thing which changes my success with women for good? What if I don't approach? What if people found out I was doing this?
The first night was abit of a drainer. Going through four hours of pick-up theory was abit too much to absorb. We went to transport for the infield. When I talk to the guys in the pick up community, alot of them seem to remember their first approach vividly. I can't seem to remember mine to well. Though I can remember it was a group set and it went quite well. I even had one of the girls in the group slap me on the ass later on in the night. It got to the point where I was feeling major anxiety and I couldn't approach anymore. I left feeling this is the start of something amazing.
The next night was abit different. I was approaching left right and centre (though there were some periods where I was feeling really anxious). Women were having fun with me and enjoying my company. I could have done alot more that night but I feel I had rejected myself before the ladies rejected me. That night was a big stepping stone for me in becoming more successful with women.
Months have past since I did the bootcamp. I've had some amazing moments and I've also had some heartbreaking moments. I look back to the moments I had on Friday night and I ask myself "would that have happened a year ago?" No way! If it wasn't for Alex and the seduction community, none of this wouldn't have happened. I think I would have still been that creepy wallflower, scared of his surroundings hoping someone would come to save me but noone ever would. Never in my own mind would I have thought I would have interactions where women would find me fun to be around. Never in my own mind would I have thought I could get into deep meaningful conversations with beautiful women. Never would I have thought beautiful women would be attracted to me. As heartbreaking as Friday was, I look back a year ago and realise how far I have come as a person. A bad night for me a year ago was me being scared within my surroundings, looking for a way out as soon as possible. A bad night now is interacting and connecting with beautiful women and missing out on an opportunity to hook up. I can only imagine what a bad night for me will be in a years time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
