On Friday night, I went out to Spice Market with Alex from the Art of Suave and a couple of guys doing one of his bootcamps. It's one of my favourite spots in Melbourne. The environment is really laid back, people are friendly, the music isn't overpowering and the women are just absolutely beautiful. It was nice to just chill out and mingle with the crowd. I would approach a few groups and have a few fun, lighthearted conversations, a few drinks. It felt great. There was a moment when I was introduced to a couple of girls by one of my mates. Now this was quite interesting. One of them told me that when she looked at my eyes she thought there was something about me. I was intrigued and I digged deeper. She brought up spirituality and I started talking about life experiences and how we've become who we are. Then she told her friend and she got involved as well. It was beautiful and of all places to have a conversation of this nature, Spice Market? A high powered superficial environment. Who would have thought I could have a conversation so deep with two incredibly beautiful women.
Anyway, me and the boys leave Spice Market and goto Baroq, another one of my favourite night spots. We arrive there and we have a few drinks and mingle with some of Melbourne's finest. I hit the dancefloor and rock to the music to the early hours of the morning. At one point, I was on the dancefloor and out of nowhere this gorgeous blonde grabs me from behind and performs some kind of dancefloor rape. I have to say it was one of the most sexually charged experiences I've had on the dancefloor. We were exchanging a few words and my eyes were glued onto her. I thought to myself "Awesome! It's on tonight!" The club was closing and I was trying to sort out logistics with the gorgeous blonde. Only to find out she was going home with someone else. I was gutted. It was like the universe was playing a cruel trick on me. I went home feeling heartbroken.
In the last 7-8 months I have been learning the skills of picking up women with the assistance of Alex (Mr. Dating Coach) and some guys from Melbourne's seduction community. Every guy who gets into this has a story so heres mine. From a very young age I was always seen as the quiet Asian kid and was always an easy target for being bullied. Add to that I lived with four strongminded and abitious sisters and I went to an all boys school. So my confidence in interacting with women really sucked ass. I didn't have my first girlfriend till I was 19 and that wasn't by choice. To top it off she was absolutely rubbish! I would treat her the way I thought girls wanted to be treated. I called her everyday, I bought her flowers, jewellery... I know! I was whipped! With the effort I was putting in, she was treating me like shit. She'd go off at me for petty shit and me being a pussy I thought it had something to do with me. It got to the point where I had enough and I cut it off.
My friends were what you would call naturals. They just seem to be great with women. They would go out every weekend and I would watch as they would make out with some random girl in the club. I hated clubs! I just never saw the point of going. I would be in there standing there and watching people walk through me as if I didn't exist. On top of that, I couldn't find the courage to go up to a girl and talk to her. What do I say? What would she think of me? What would my friends think of me if I fuck up? What would everyone in the club think of me?
Fast forward a few years, since my first girlfriend I hadn't dated anyone. I remember I was about 22 and I was unemployed. I think at the time I was guaranteed a job offer from a large accounting firm but the time to process my job application was taking a while. So during that time I did alot of reading. Books, magazines, internet...anything to keep me occupied while I was waiting to start working again. One day I came across an ad in a magazine which something like attract any girl or something along those lines. I went to the website and thought the site was dodgy. So having seen the ad I wanted to know what other alternatives there were so I did a search on Google on how to pick up women and from that search I found an ebook called "The Game".
From reading the book, I discovered the Mystery Method, a set of skills, routines, tactics... aimed at picking up beautiful women. At the time I thought "WOW!" there's some hope for me. I was excited but at the same time there was another problem. I wore thick glasses, I had braces with elastics sticking out and all these springs and weird appliances in my mouth and I was losing hair. This didn't give me alot of confidence. Putting these skills to practice was going to be a problem for me because I thought women wouldn't be attracted to me because of my self-image issues. The next couple of years I would search online and read a whole bunch of ebooks of becoming better with women.
Fast forward again 2-3 years, I had my braces off, I now wear contacts and I have a shaved head. Now on a surface level I appeared attractive. Did my success with women change? Nope. One, I had massive approach anxiety and couldn't get myself to approach women. Two, I still had some deep core underlying beliefs which were stopping me from being the man I wanted to be. I knew there was a man inside of me who was wanting to come out but I didn't know how to free him. I was worried about what others would think of me. Would they be able to handle someone who was perceived to be different?
So what changed? A year had past and I was lonely, I was depressed, I was terribly miserable. Was this the life I was destined to live? I remember celebrating new years and watching everyone around me filled with excitement and I was just standing there not feeling a thing. I thought to myself "this is supposed to be the most amazing night of the year and I don't feel a thing." I made the decision from that point to do one thing each day that would allow me to free myself emotionally. Coming from an Asian background, we're not brought up to express our emotions whether they are good or bad. For a long time I had bottled up alot of emotions which were holding me back.
Changes didn't happen overnight but I found myself over time feeling more and more comfortable in my own skin. When I was going out, though I wasn't meeting girls I was having a good time. A major turning point for me was at a music festival called Trance Energy. That day I had taken a handful of ecstasy pills as well as some speed. I was buzzing like crazy...I felt like God! I felt like I could do anything and noone could stop me. I was dancing like a maniac and I was going up to people and talking to them. I remember at one point I was calling out to this super hot brunette to come over to talk to me and to my amazement she came over. I think my experience at Trance Energy showed me what could be possible.
After my Trance Energy experience, I found myself wanting to go out more and more. I still couldn't talk to people. Usually I'd need to have drugs or alcohol just so that I could talk to people. Some nights I'd have beautiful women approach me just because of my energy in the clubs whether my state was chemically altered or not. Months would pass and though women would approach me, I just didn't know what to do or what to say. I felt stupid sometimes. I knew something had to be done. I went back to all the pickup stuff I had downloaded but I knew it wasn't going to get me to approach women. I needed to be put in a situation where I had no choice but to approach. I went online and searched for pickup bootcamps. That's when I found Alex and the Art of Suave. I bit the bullet and forked out the cash to do a bootcamp.
I remember the day I did the bootcamp (it was the day Michael Jackson died RIP). Alot of thoughts were going in my head. What have I got myself into? Will I really get my money's worth? Will this be the thing which changes my success with women for good? What if I don't approach? What if people found out I was doing this?
The first night was abit of a drainer. Going through four hours of pick-up theory was abit too much to absorb. We went to transport for the infield. When I talk to the guys in the pick up community, alot of them seem to remember their first approach vividly. I can't seem to remember mine to well. Though I can remember it was a group set and it went quite well. I even had one of the girls in the group slap me on the ass later on in the night. It got to the point where I was feeling major anxiety and I couldn't approach anymore. I left feeling this is the start of something amazing.
The next night was abit different. I was approaching left right and centre (though there were some periods where I was feeling really anxious). Women were having fun with me and enjoying my company. I could have done alot more that night but I feel I had rejected myself before the ladies rejected me. That night was a big stepping stone for me in becoming more successful with women.
Months have past since I did the bootcamp. I've had some amazing moments and I've also had some heartbreaking moments. I look back to the moments I had on Friday night and I ask myself "would that have happened a year ago?" No way! If it wasn't for Alex and the seduction community, none of this wouldn't have happened. I think I would have still been that creepy wallflower, scared of his surroundings hoping someone would come to save me but noone ever would. Never in my own mind would I have thought I would have interactions where women would find me fun to be around. Never in my own mind would I have thought I could get into deep meaningful conversations with beautiful women. Never would I have thought beautiful women would be attracted to me. As heartbreaking as Friday was, I look back a year ago and realise how far I have come as a person. A bad night for me a year ago was me being scared within my surroundings, looking for a way out as soon as possible. A bad night now is interacting and connecting with beautiful women and missing out on an opportunity to hook up. I can only imagine what a bad night for me will be in a years time.
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