All Stars 12 Week Body Transformation Challenge Before Photos

How to Use Meditation | eHow.com

How to Use Meditation | eHow.com

19/05/2011

Feeling abit giddy at the moment. Just had a good chat with Seanie about our journeys so far and where we are headed...but that's not why I'm giddy :)
Beforehand I went out with hand creme girl from my last post.

I met her at the cart where we met yesterday. She's a manager and she was setting people straight as her work colleagues weren't doing shit right. I chat a little bit with her work colleagues, all who seem very nice. Once she got her stuff sorted we head off to Cho Gao for some drinks. She's a very sophisticated woman and she has very distinct and particular taste. The bartender couldn't get her drink right and I teased her on it "a woman who gets what she wants. I love that!" We sit down on the couch and we seem to vibe very well. She's very sexually open, confident, demanding and again she holds herself very well. It blew me away when she told me she was 21! She's from Israel and she told me about some of her hardships with bombings in Israel and being in the military but she also showed other dimensions of her. A wild, crazy side and a glimpse of a soft side...only a glimpse. Throughout the date I would allow myself to sink into my body and radiate what I was feeling towards her. I could feel her reciprocate the same feelings.

There was one moment my heart just sank. She gets a phone call and she says "it's my baby". I'm thinking "boyfriend?" She hangs up and says it's her friend who has come over from Israel with her. Phew! Back to connecting with her :) Drawing myself closer to her as we were immersed into each other. She asked me something like "what's the craziest thing I've ever done?" I had trouble thinking of something at the time so I said something along the lines of "I have something crazy I could do now" and leaned in and kissed her.

I pull back and I can feel myself shaking with nerves rushing through my body. Rather than trying to push it away I told her how I was feeling. I can never seem to control the feelings I get when I experience the first kiss with a woman. It sends shivers right through my body. It's the most exciting experience for me. She says something like "that's not crazy" so I suggest we head back to mine to take it another level but she refused. My resourcefulness muscle wasn't on in that moment but either way I was still pretty giddy. We've agreed to see each other again and can't wait. Even though she has this strong exterior, I feel she's looking for a man to surrender to. Hopefully that man is me :)

Apart from the date I trained with Zulu this morning. I wouldn't say I was at my best. I had alot to drink the night before and I payed the price. That being said, what was once a disgusting gut is now a small pocket of fat. I have no doubt in my mind I have a six pack coming my way. As well as that, I started on module 2 of the challenge. I must say it's quite hard when I don't have solid keywords with commercial activity but I've still travelled along with it anyway. In the meantime I'll still continue to research keywords.

I've also booked into a couple of seminars/workshops in the coming weeks. One is for John Demartini, another is Dreaming Your Power by Evolving Man and the other is a conscious connecting workshop run by some hippies. Awesome vibes coming from All Stars at the moment. Everyone seems to be riding the wave. So inspired right now.

Evolving Man Authenticity Workshop

Right now I feel drained from having done a men's authenticity workshop over the weekend with Evolving Man. I still feel a lot of tension in certain areas around my body from emotions still needing to be let out. I'll get onto that when I meditate during my break tonight (I'm working night shift tonight). That being said it was one of the most inspiring weekends I've had in a very long time. To be amongst a group of strong men who had a desire to connect better with themselves and others. To see guys from different walks of life make life changing shifts was really beautiful to witness and experience. I feel really grateful to be part of such an amazing weekend.

My personal development has taken a different direction this year. One of the areas I wanted to focus on was masculinity and sexuality. Having read Robert Moore's King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine I wanted to delve deeper into it. Most of you may have read David Deida's Way of the Superior Man which I believe does more harm to men than good. Don't get me wrong there is some good stuff in there but I feel some of it can be damaging to those in the wrong place in their development to becoming men. Robert Moore's book goes into stages a man goes through in becoming a man rather than saying if you do this, this and this then you'll be a man. Wanting to learn more I looked for workshops in this area and found that there weren't many held in Australia particularly those who adopt the philosophies from Robert Moore's book. There was one in Queensland but they were charging $4000 for a weekend which is an outright ripoff. Luckily for me, Evolving Man were in Melbourne and were reasonably priced.

On the day of the workshop, I arrived abit late and I was feeling hurried and in my head alot but once I walked into the room, all of the sudden my state shifted to a state of calm. We do a few warm up exercises which involved tapping into our presense and out internal state. We then sat in a circle and introduced ourselves and talked about what our expectations were for the weekend. I felt a bit out of my comfort zone as I knew some of these guys have done work with Evolving Man before and I felt a strong sence of presence from a lot of the men in the room. To some degree I felt quite vulnerable as I felt they had a sense for what kind of person I was. That may not have been true but that's how I felt.

My intent for the weekend was to let go of an old Khoi who I felt was holding me back from who I wanted to be. This was something that had been bothering me for a while and I was prepared to do anything to made the shifts necessary to become the man I want to be. I wasn't looking for a quick fix. I needed help in being pointed in the right direction.

We then did some qigong and some exercises which involved consciously connecting with other men in the room. One of the exercises I was put way out of my comfort zone. The exercise was to sit with a partner lock into their presence. My partner, as a witness, would ask "what is your experience of authenticity?" A highly challenging question which made me feel vulnerable. Internally, I felt a lot of resistance in answering that question because to me it's quite confronting. Plus my partner for activity was Jared, one of the facilitators of the workshop. His piercing eyes really dug deep into your soul. Those piercing eyes I've seen in the past from very self aware beings (Rhyn is one, James Marshall from the Naturals is another). It's scares the shit out of me. It really questions my self value alot the time when I experience eye contact like that. We changed turned where I asked the question and Jared would answer the question. We ended the night with abit more qi gong and some pretty cool intent rituals. I left that night feeling somewhat exposed, confused, weary, excited, nervous, anxious. I didn't know what I was getting myself into but I knew I was about to uncover something quite special.

The next day we continued with a lot of qi gong and a lot of practical exercises. A lot like the one I did with Jared. Though I was able to open up a lot more in these exercises I still felt some resistance. As a witness we had the opportunity to comment on our partner's response to our questions which was really beautiful. I felt the power to be able to relate/connect with the person I was working with on a very deep level. Uncomfortable at first, the more in sunk into my body and became more present the more I was able to tap into a deeper connection which was really beautiful. This is nothing like the connection they teach in the pick-up community. Connection in the pick-up community is taught more as a technique rather then a part of your being. When you get to experience something like this, especially with a woman, it is really beautiful. It goes way beyond sex. I can say I've only experienced something amazing like this maybe a handful of times with women. I got a grasp for what Rhyn experiences (having gone to his workshop) when he taps into that level of being. It's a really beautiful place to be and I want to experience it more.

We then did an exercise called circling. This involves one person being a centre of focus in the group and everyone else asks questions. This was a very freeform discussion. No rules. We could talk about anything. What was troubling us, how we were feeling, etc. Earlier in the workshop Robert, one of the facilitators showed us a framework for being in our integrity: love/passion, self-worth, action and potency. A leakage in any of these demonstrated a lack in integrity. The power of this exercise was to determine where we were leaking. The power of this exercise was amazing. To see the transformational shifts in some of the guys was really beautiful. It's very rare to see someone experience a transformational shift right in front of your eyes but when you do it is one of the most inspirational experiences to witness. In my experience of circling I didn't feel I made the shift I wanted to make. Though it did bring up something quite powerful for me, I knew this wasn't the shift I was after. The old Khoi and the new Khoi. Accepting the old Khoi as part of me. The old Khoi was a child. He has been tramatised and I felt like I need to let go of him but all this time he needed the new Khoi to show him the way. I kinda knew this before but the angle in which this was explained to me really hit home with me. While greatful for this, I still didn't feel I got what I needed from this workshop...yet :)

The last day started with some qi gong. A very intense session. I felt incredible heat pulses rushing through my body. My head in particular. I was feeling restless and maybe a little frustrated. It reminded me of my experience of Vipassana. There were many times where I experienced incredible heat pulses. We finished the qi gong and I was shaky as hell. My legs were uncontrollably shaking and I couldn't make them stop. And the here's the scary part. Women were being introduced into the workshop!!! The men made a circle and we closed our eyes as the women entered the room. I could feel their energy in the room. Some of them would touch us. It was interesting to make the distinction of how different women would touch us. It was a very nice feeling. I felt self-conscious and nervous as well as my legs were uncontrollably shaking.

We then got to open our eyes and sit in a circle with the ladies. There were 6 of them and I have to say some of these women were incredibly sexy. Especially the one sitting next to me. This gorgeous blonde. A bit older she was very confident within herself and a very sexual woman. I was stifled by her. This is the type of woman who can teach you a lot about yourself.

First exercise which involved the women was where they would sit on one end of the room and we would walk up to 3 of them and they would make an assessment of what they felt as we were walking up to them and when in their presense. As simple as this sounds, this is very confronting. I was quite nervous and conscious of my legs shaking. The guys also noticed I was stepping back sort of like in a defensive way. You really get a feel for how women really perceive you and their perception of me was really eye opening, especially from the blonde when I walked up the first time round. She asked me something along the lines of do women seem like another species to me. At that point I got really defensive and my walls went up. Robert, the facilitator of this exercise, asked my what I was feeling. I said there was a lot of tension in my legs, around my head and my neck. Robert then asks me "how do you feel around this area?" motioning his hand around the heart and stomach area. I said "nothing! Like a numb feeling". "Does this remind you of anything?" Robert asks. "Yes, but it's very personal" I say. "So you're aware of it?" he asks. "Yes" I say.

This brought up a memory of in my past which to most people would be traumatic but to me I felt numb about it. Again I did the same exercise with the 3 remaining women and though I wasn't as nervous, though they felt like something didn't feel right. Like something was missing. I couldn't be read. It was that numb feeling again. Like the other women before me I felt like I was being judged and all my defense walls were being lifted. Very eye opening to see what kind of impact I have on women. It brought up a lot of experiences I've had with women. It reminded me of the night when Kathryn broke up with me, a girl I was seeing a while back. She really opened up to me that night and yet I could not feel nothing and she called me out on it. I had no idea at the time what to do. I knew this was something that I had to explore.

We then switched roles and we got to experienced how we felt when the woman approached us. I felt a very strong sense of connection with the woman who approached me. She displayed a very warm, friendly, playful sort or energy and it was really nice to experience. I struggle tap into this often but when I do it's like fire.

Then I got to experience circling with women. This time round I wasn't as much in my head as I was when I did it the day before. I was alot more present and was really sunk into my body. I was aware of nerves, heat pulses but yet there was this numbness around my heart and my stomach. It was like an empty box inside my torso. We talked about my experiences with my numbness in the past and how it made me feel. In times where I felt I was supposed to feel something in the past but didn't it made me feel guilty, angry like there was something wrong with me. I thought I was like a heartless serial killer unable to feel emotions and if I did, it was all forced or inauthentic.

In describing what it was like to feel numb inside, Jared asked me to close my eyes and accept the numbness as part of who I am. So I did. I went into my body and felt the numbness and accpeted it. Then whoosh! A rush of emotions flooded all over me. I burst into tears uncontrollably. It was one of the most cleansing experiences I've had in a while. Little did I know that I have been trying to supress this feeling of numbness for a long time. The guilt behind hiding this numbness made me do stuff like take drugs or consume excessive amounts of alcohol all in the effort to feel something. Also the fear of judgement if I told others that I felt numb about traumatic experiences. Like I'm this emotionless robot or I'm a serial killer.

It's funny because the last three months I've been meditating, I have felt nothing but numbness. I've felt like there were no emotions coming up but I still kept at it expecting or anticipating something like spontaneous joy or sadness but little did I know that this numbness was an emotion that needed processing and a very powerful emotion it is. While I got to experience an incredible release of emotions, I still feel a lot of tension telling me I have a lot more emotional processing to do.

After the circling exercise we had dinner and the way I interacted with the people in the workshop especially the women changed dramatically. I came to the workshop struggling to interact with those around me and feeling somewhat of an outsider and stifled by some of the women and then automatically I felt a strong sense of connection with all those around me. The sexy blonde included :) We ended the day with a forum where the men could ask women questions and women can do the same. To finish things off we ended with a thing called the love tunnel when two lines are formed together and one person would walk through and people would touch them and say "I love you". A very beautiful and emotional experience on top of the numerous hugs I got over the weekend.

It was amazing to experience the many shifts of those who attended right in front of my eyes. Even the women experienced some too which was really amazing to see. Though the experiences of those who attended have been different there alot of parallels in our journeys which put in me in a place where I felt that I am OK as I am. I've always felt that you can only grasp concepts on an experiential level. It's one thing to tell yourself or have a book tell you you're OK as you are but to experience it has so much more power and deeper impact that it becomes part of you. As well as that it was humbling to see that the facilitators of the workshop were just as much human as those who attended were.

Evolving Man are always running workshops on masculinity and I am looking forward to attending more of them. For those who felt David Deida's Way of the Superior Man felt it didn't resonate with you or you just want a safe avenue to discover your masculinity or you want to experience real connections with women not textbook emotionless connection they teach in pickup. I highly recommend their work. I've booked myself in for their qi gong classes which they hold every Monday.

The Attraction Code

I have just finished reading The Attraction Code by Vin DiCarlo. I wish I had read this earlier. It would have saved me months of heartache. Some of the realisations I have made recently were explained in detail in this book. For example my post on focus and intent was written based on the failures and successes with women or another post I write a while back about being OK as I am. These were covered in the same light in which I had written my posts. Only it was more detailed and concise.

I don't read or watch a lot of pickup material but if there is anything I would reccommend at the moment, it would be this book. Though I wouldn't recommend it for beginners. Having the reference experiences to link a lot of the concepts in the book is what makes this book so powerful.

Lady at the Tramp

On Tuesday morning I was on the train on my way to work. I wasn't feeling too well. I was having stomach pains. It might have been what I ate last night. Anyway, I'm halfway towards Glen Waverley and I thought to myself "Fuck it!" I jump off the train, call in sick and turn back home.

I spent the morning watching Risky Business with Tom Cruise, did some hypnosis, meditation and then went to sleep. I woke up early in the afternoon feeling better and go out to do a bit of daygame with a couple of guys from the Lair. Daryl, my old roommate who is leaving to go to New Zealand this Friday :( and Jonathan who I haven't seen in ages.

I managed to do a few approaches which felt pretty awkward. I sucked it up and tried to embrace it rather than beat myself up for it. Jonathan is always great to do daygame with we seem to have a great vibe when we hang out. We're able to make rejection fun. We also bump into Keilan and he joins in on the fun. I managed to do 5 approaches which was a win for me because it's been a while since I've done 5 in a session. I've taken the foot off the pedal a little bit in recent times to focus on other things.

We finish off having a few drinks at the Rooftop Bar and just chill as normal human beings. Keilan leaves early and suggests I join him at the Tramp that night. I wasn't working the next day so I agreed. I finish off drinks with Daryl and Jonathan and join Keilan at the Lair dinner. I am kinda glad I've got myself banned from the Lair because it felt somewhat toxic to be around those guys. One of the newer guys played a bit of "I know game more than you" gymnastics which gave me the shits a little bit. It made me realise how much game can really screw with my head.

After the dinner Keilan and I head to Tramp. Initially, we were knocked back but luckily Keilan knew one of the DJs and managed to get us in. We walk straight to the bar to get some drinks. While I wait in line to be served I wave to a girl looking in my direction to get her attention (this has been my opener at night these days). She smiles, says "hi" then turns away. Oh well, you can't please everyone.

I get my drink and head to the dancefloor. In my peripheral I notice I am getting a lot of people watching me. These days I've cut back a lot of my dance moves and use more of my sensual/sexual movements more recently. In a lot of places which plays a lot of house music, this generally stands out but in a very subtle way.

I move closer to the middle of the dancefloor and spot a cute blonde, Cara, with her friend watching over me. She looked over quite a few times. I look over to her, pull her in close and we start dancing. We exchange a bit of fluff talk but at the time I don't feel she is giving me the response I need so I back off a little. We dance a little side to side and I pull her in again. This is where it gets hotter and heavier. I grab her hand and spin her a few times and place her hand against my hip. We' up in each others faces as I grind my thigh against her pussy. I could feel she was really into me. They way she wrapped her hands with mine how intimate she was holding me. We lock eyes and we make out. I pull back and tell her we should go someplace quiet. I grab her hand and we head to the smoking area.

Her friend, Amber, comes along and I get Keilan to join us. I talk with the Cara while Keilan tries to talk with Amber but she starts talking to another guy. I engage with a bit of talk with Cara. She's Polish and has the sexiest accent. Just listening to it is giving me a massive boner. Were not engaging in interesting conversation but our eyes say it all. We want each other. Each word I say is really slow and seductive. The way we hold each other is as if we're a couple. She's really sweet. Amber comes in and says "she's only with you because she loves Asians". Cara is giggling like a little school girl. I say "really? So I'm just a piece of meat?" Amber says you should just be happy and go with it. "Damn! I thought it was for my personality" I said. Amber says "There's not much we can find out about you after knowing you for 5 minutes".

We head back inside and I take Cara to the Bar for a drink. I'm really enjoying being with her. I pull her in and tell her in a slow seductive voice "You know what?...I'd really love to take you home right now. I'd push you against the wall and kiss you so passionately till your knees buckle. Then I'd throw you on my bed and put my cock deep in your tight little pussy". She giggled. She says she can't leave Amber and I suggest she can come along too. Instead she gives me her number and if she can get rid of her she'll come with me.

I take Cara to the dancefloor and we join Amber and Keilan. Cara grabs Amber and they walk off for a bit. I'm on the dancefloor and the tempo picks up so I pick up my tempo with it. It's been a while since Cara and Amber left us. Alot of girls are coming over to dance with me so I join in on the fun. Though there was this one girl that really caught my eye. A gorgeous tall leggy blonde. We managed to lock eyes a few times but I couldn't get myself to approach her. So back to dancing. I keep a lookout for tall leggy blonde but by that time Cara came back so I danced and kissed her some more.

It's time to go home for me so I kiss Cara goodbye and head home. I could have been a bit more persuasive but I feel we will be meeting again.

Intent and Focus

In the last couple of weeks I have taken more risk and I have been a lot more bolder than I have ever been and I am starting to reap the benefits from it when going out to meet women.

On paper I will appear that I am great with women but the reality is that it is far from the truth. While I don't doubt I have the tools to seduce beautiful women, I lack the focus required to be getting results. I thought it had a lot to do with my inner beliefs yet I can come up with heaps of examples where guy aren't technically as able as me or have beliefs which are even more convoluted or contrived as mine and yet they are getting more solid results with women than I am. I thought it may have something to do with my insecurities with my sexuality. However, I can come up with examples of guys I know who feel uncomfortable when I mention the word sex who have had sex more than I have in recent times. I can name dozens of reasons to explain why my success with women has been limited and I can point out a number of guys who have the same reasons or even worse and yet they have more sex than me.

Intent seems to be the big buzzword in the community at the moment but to me I had been expressing intent as more of a technique rather than an extension of my being. As a result the direction of my intent was scattered and it didn't seem I was getting my message across. While I have been told my intent is strong, I was not getting desired results. There are guys out there who don't show any intent in any shape or form yet they are getting results. Why is that?

I feel my breakthroughs recently come down to focus. Where is it being directed? Some may argue intent and focus are the same thing and you may be right. From my experience I feel they are different. I feel intent is associated with the behaviours, thoughts and actions exhibited in getting an outcome. Focus is associated with where my attention is directed in getting an outcome. So while my behaviours and actions exhibited are directed towards seducing women (touching, flirting, etc.) my attention isn't (make-out, sex, date, etc.).

My focus has been more along the lines of what will the woman think of me rather than what do I want? As a result my intent comes across as scattered and so has my success. While I knew this was the issue on a logical level, to experience the outcome as a result of scattered intent has made me learn to redirect my focus which serves to achieve my desired experience with women.

My level of focus with women is also a reflection on my level of focus in other areas of life. My goals don't quite align with each other and sometimes I do feel a little overwhelmed by what I've put myself into. Focus is, right now, my area of focus.

A sign of things to come

With the events which have occurred in the past week. I feel this is my breakout year with my success with women. Here's a list of highlights:

- Made out with a married woman on New Years Day. I was at Crown Casino with a mate and we went to Tangerine. I was feeling in a pretty good state that night. I was opening a few cute girls and I was able to lock eyes with many who walked past me. I could taken things a bit further in most of the interactions and my escalations could have been a bit more calibrated.

We leave to head to the pub next door and there are only two girls on the dancefloor. My mate and I walk over to them and I dance with one of them. As I held her hand while dancing with her, I felt a ring but at the time I didn' think much of it. She was grinding on my cock so I rolled with it. After dancing with her a bit I pull her in and makeout with her. I pull away and tell her I really want to take her home right now. It's home time and the security tells us we have to leave. I try to convince my girl to come home with me and she seems interested but her friend comes in and spoils the party. Later, as we are walking home, my mate tells me she's married.

- Thursday night I went to Fusion with Isaac and made out with a cute blonde. I knew from the moment I saw her she was keen to fuck. I was on the dancefloor with Isaac and we see the blonde and her friend start dancing next to use. I was unsure whether to approach or not so I kept dancing. We watch as a guy tries to pick the friend up and this leaves the blonde on her own. I grab her attention, take her hand, spin her and pull her in. She didn't really like the spin and told me not to do it again. She wasn't reciprocating any of my advances. We engaged in a bit of small talk which was going nowhere.

Doubting whether she was keen or not I grabbed her attention took her hand and pulled her in. She told me she had to go home. I told her she is not leaving without my number. We exchange numbers and we makeout on the dancefloor. By that time her dad had to pick her up...grrr. I suggested an afterparty at my place but no joy. Seeing that we know nothing about each other and no connection whatsoever I can only push for my cock in her pussy. She's been responding to my texts so good times ahead :)

- Made out with an older woman last night. I went to Alumbra. Never have I been to a bar where so many girls have locked eyes with me. Approaching was easy and smooth for me. I was on the dancefloor dancing a lot more sensual than I normally do (I'm a shuffler. I don't know if you could make the shuffle sensual). I lock eyes with her and pull her in. No words were said to each other. Dancing together produced a strong undercurrent of sex in the air. We were in each others faces I could feel the warm air from her panting as we were holding each other. It was like sex on the dancefloor. Feeling like it was on I pushed her against the wall and tried to kiss her but she refused.

She was still OK with me dancing with her. I'd pull her in again and try to kiss her again but she said she felt uncomfortable with her kissing me in front of her friends so I suggested we go outside. She refuses but still wants me to dance with her. Her friends leave us alone on the dancefloor. I tell her that her friends are gone and go for the kiss again but still she resists.

After a bit more of bumping and grinding. She holds me close and gives me a peck on the lips. She tells me it's too hot here and suggests we go outside. We're outside and we talk about what we do and then we get into a bit of a deep talk and we talk a bit about our views of reality.

Home time comes and I suggest we go back to my place. She refuses and goes on about her past and talks about how sex has impacted on her negatively in the past. I explained my views on sex and told her how I feel women are wrongly judged and made to feel guilty for wanting to have sex. After a bit of reasoning I felt I couldn't take it any further. Just as she was about to leave we exchange phone numbers and agree to meet soon. She kisses me goodbye.

I have been more aggressive and bold this week than I have been in my entire time learning pick-up. I find my progress has shot up exponentially. I credit this to the time I have spent doing a lot of inner game work. While I am not where I want to be yet. I feel my continued work will pay off. 2011 is my year.

2011 - A new year, a new blog

Being a new year I have shifted my focus somewhat and hence a new blog. I'm calling it the Get Busy Now! blog. My focus this year is more geared towards creating my dream lifestyle rather than just picking up girls. I will still keep this blog to document my success with women.

I have a desire to start an online business and I feel this new blog ties in well with my business and can be solid vehicle to making money.

You can access the Get Busy Now! blog at http://getbusynow.wordpress.com

This blog is more geared towards goal setting and taking action.