Activating the inner animal

The last couple of months I feel technically my game is as good as anyones (I've done workshops with just about every coach Melbourne has to offer). However, I'm not seeing the type of results I have been expecting. I have been complacent with just getting a woman's number and just letting things linger till it all fizzles out.

I have always been the nice guy. I am the type of guy who will say "yes" to someone when what I really want to say is "no". If I ordered something at a restaurant and didn't get what I ordered, I suck it up and eat it anyway. I've had people take advantage of me. I've been suckered into signing up for one of the charities from those guys who walk up to you on the street. I could list more. I'm tired of going out, having a good conversation only for it to end with a number which will most likely flake. It's not just affecting me with my results with women but it's affecting me in other areas of life as well.

It's time to crush the little pussy of a voice in my head and bring out the fucking killer. I have taken a few actions to become more empowered and to corrupt myself:
- Went to the strippers the other night with the All Stars after the mastermind session.

- Watching contraversial films. I watched a French film called Irreversible the other day. It's the most fucking disturbing film I've seen. Though there was a sexually violent rape scene where I couldn't help but be turned on.

I watched another film called Baise Moi (the French are really fucked up) which was pretty disturbing as well.

Am I sick as fuck? Probably

- I've been reading on Yakuza and Triad gangs. I'm wanting to get into the mindset of a criminal. Maybe serial killers next :)

- I'm reading a book called Thick Face, Black Heart which is a self development book geared towards self-empowerment

- I'm reading books on caveman types of escalation (Gunwitch, 60 years of challenge)

- Talking to guys who are corrupted.

- I recently just got back into Muay Thai

- I sent some kamikaze texts to girls who have been giving me the run-around. Something along the lines of "I'm tired of playing games. I want you. I want to fuck you. Come see me tonight "

I got a few responses which were promising. I did a number culling on my phone about a month ago. I wish I thought of this earlier.

- Listening to gangsta rap. Get's me thinking about dirty shit.

- Joining a social tennis group. Having competed nationally as a teenager, I know I'll out do most of the people there but I like the idea of controlling and crushing people like ants.

I'm thinking of taking it to another extreme and start reading into dictators like Hitler or Stahlin. Reading books on contraversial characters like Dennis Rodman. Am I taking it to far? Would you rather be a slave or be the boss? Any other suggestions welcome. I want people here calling me a sick fuck within the next month :)