I feel things are looking positive at the moment but I can't help but think that it's all going to fall apart. I have set up dates with 2 incredibly beautiful women for next week. As excited as I am, in the back of my head there's this voice that's telling me they will flake or I'm not worthy of these women. The last few months have been a grind for me. Doing numerous cold approaches and not appearing to see any progress.
My job hunting has kind of taken a step back as well. I have felt unmotivated even though I know things will become better as a result of it. Yesterday I had a job interview which went very well and yet I still feel like my life is going to fall apart even though I have a job which is stable.
It has been a common theme in my life to look at things negatively. Even though I am very fortunate with what life has dealt me, I can help but think that it will all be taken away. I live my life feeling this everyday. Even when things are going well for me, I can't help but think that eventually it will fall apart. In the past when I have had a good thing going I find myself sabotaging a good thing. A common theme in my life.
I think what I am going through now is my ego resisting change and trying to snap back to the person I once was. In the past I would fall into these periods of self-sabotage, accept it and go in a downward spiral. I think these negative thoughts are creeping up in the back of my head for good reason. I am making changes, I am going out of my comfort zone, I am opening myself up to the world, I am allowing myself to be the man I want to be.
For someone like me to be making drastic changes to better myself and live an amazing life I have to recognise that this is a natural reaction as a result of change and I can't let these thought get the better of me.
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