My world is chaos. There seems to be so much things happening at one time. My thoughts are racing at 1000 miles an hour. I so concerned about work, money, girls, helping others and improving myself I just don't give myself the chance to take it all in.
I was having a chat with Matt today about my home situation. It's a place where I associate alot of negativity in my life and it takes alot out of me. Home should be a place where I can escape, feel safe, let go of all the things which are clouding my head and yet it's the last place I want to be.
I've known this for a long time. I know that as long as I am living at home with my parents I will never allow myself to become the man I want to be. I feel that my home environment is holding me back.
I see myself as a person who enjoys his own privacy and draws alot of energy in times of silence and it doesn't happen often. I live in a very loud household. People are always coming in and out and I don't seem to get the peace I need.
Everytime I would come home, whether it was from work or going out, I would sit in my car for about half an hour to an hour to clear my head and gather my thoughts before going into my house which would give me some peace. Now that I have lost my license, I don't have that luxury.
A few actions for this week to give me some time to mentally regroup, to think and plan:
- stay at a backpackers for the weekend
- download some yoga DVDs
- meditation audio
- don't fight
- find a hobby I can do at home
- avoid anything which could cause problems
- keep hunting for a new place
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