Missed opportunities

I am excited. Not because of my lack of results recently but my discoveries that I have made as a result of no results. Saturday night I went to Syn Bar for a friends birthday. Initially, I wasn't even going out. I was sick, exhausted and I had snowboarding the next day with Matt (carpe_diem). I get a call from my friend, Van. He's just broken up with his now ex-girlfriend and he needed a friend. I told him I'll get changed and I'll be in the city in an hour.

I arrived at Noble Park station and only just missed the train. I had to wait another half hour before the next train came.

Once I got on the train I put on some self-help audio. I've been doing All-Stars and there's alot of self-help audio but I haven't been able to find the time to listen to them. I've recently lost my license so I have no choice but to take public transport so I use the time I spend on the train to listen to them. The train stops at Oakleigh and in comes a cute brunette in a long coat and black skirt. She sits front of me. I could no longer focus on what I was listening to. I had to talk to her. I'm sitting on the train fighting with my internal dialogue. Reasons of why I should/shouldn't talk to her. I really hate this.

I notice she starts untying her hair and redoing it so I open "you look like you have someone to impress". She smiles and she opens up. Luckily she didn't have anyone to impress. We chat on the train for abit and got a few laughs from her. She also starts to invest and wants to find out what I'm upto tonight and what I do...

We get closer to her stop and I go for the number close. She puts her number in my phone and she gives me her phone to put my number in hers. She jumps off the train and I smile knowing people were watching me as all this was unfolding. Feeling super validated. Just he jumps out 2 glamour girls come over and sit next to me, a blonde and a redhead. "What trouble are you guys plotting tonight?" I get a laugh from them. I'm thinking dumb club chicks.

I really like the blonde so I tease and flirt with her a bit. She's loving it and so is the friend. The blonde starts throwing abit back and we exchange abit of fun banter between us. We arrive at our stop and she says "have a great night". At the time I wasn't thinking much of it.

My friend, Van, is waiting at Transport so I head there. I walk to the traffic lights across from Fed Square. While I'm waiting there the girls from the train stop beside me. "Hey are you guys stalking me?" We walk together to Transport and exchange abit of banter. We get to Transport and I tell the bouncer "watchout for these two. They're nothing but trouble". I wait at the entrance and say goodbye to the girls. Looking back I should have at least number closed.

I ask the bouncer if I can chill at the front while I wait for my friend. "Sure thing. Wait under the heater." While I'm waiting I see a cute blonde with short hair and a leopard skin jacket looking at me. I lock eyes and say hi. She seems really cool. We chat for abit before Van comes in. Again, I probably should have gone for it.

Van brings a friend along, he seems like a cool guy. We head off to Syn Bar. We walk in and it was empty. Nothing except people here for my friends birthday. It consisted mainly of couples. I say hi to my other friends and we hit the dancefloor. I think at the time we were the only guys on the dancefloor.

After a while people start joining us at the dancefloor and more people are entering the venue but not a lot. If it wasn't for the birthday party I think there would have been less than 10 people in the venue. I sport 2 cute brunettes step onto the dancefloor. One wearing a leather jacket and stripey dress and the other with a shiny sequin dress and a cream coat. I couldn't take my eyes off her. I had to talk to her. I tell one of my friends I have to talk to her. We get in their proximity and dance for abit. In my peripheral I'm watching her waiting for the right moment to open.

I turn around and comment on her dress. We talk for abit and I grab her hand, spin her and draw her in close. One of my other mates is talking to the other girl and seems to be doing ok. I dance for abit with the shiny dress girl before her friend takes her away from me. I'm thinking I must have been abit too agressive. I must have fucked up. I think they were the only girls worth talking to that night. Most of the other girls were with their boyfriends. Van asks me if he can have a go. I say sure. "I think I'm out"

I hang out with my friends at the dancefloor but get abit tired so I head out to the smoking area to get some fresh air. I walk out and see Van and his friend talking to the brunettes and decide to join them. Van seems to have a great vibe going. I have my eyes on shiny dress girl. She seems to always have her eyes on me everytime she is talking. I kinda freak out a little not sure if she is into me or not. It's past midnight and I can't afford to miss the train. I've got snowboarding the next day and I think Matt would kill me if I bailed. I say goodbye to everyone and head home.

Snowboarding was awesome. A few bumps but still a great day. I arrive home and notice a few missed calls from Van. I call him up and find out he hooked up with the other brunette. According to Van shiny dress girl was asking about me when I left. Van and his friend took the brunettes to his place that night. His friend could have got some action from her that night but freaked out. She told him she was horny and yet he still didn't go for it.

I can't help but think that could have been me with the shiny dress girl that night. I never took the chance so I will never know. That being said, in the moment I come up with excuses for not taking a chance and going after what I want. It's a terrible feeling thinking about what could have been and this should serve as motivation to man up and pull the trigger.