Confidence

My Strong Points

Energetic
In spite of my issues with sleep appnea, I still operate with enthusiasm and alot of energy. I feel that this really rubs off well on others. Sometimes freak people out. I got a text asking "are you crazy?" after asking a friend to come out when I was on a 8 day, daygame rampage. I feel when people see this it inspires them to extract more out of themselves.

Determined
Coming from a dark past, I have come really far in the past year. I am determined to change my life because if I stop now I will go back to where I once was and it hurts too much to even think about it. I've come to the point where I have associated so much pain to not changing that now I have to change. I only have one shot at life. I have to give it my best shot.

Resilient
I've faced rejection time and time again. When I was hunting for my first full-time job with no work experience, no degree and not alot of self-esteem I had to deal with rejection after rejection for six months. In those six months I had to deal with alot of emotional pain. I felt worthless. I didn't feel like I had any value in society. I was living off Youth Allowance and it sucks. Even with this pain, I kept applying because I had no other option. I needed a job. Everytime I got knocked back I would get back out there and keep going.

I feel my resilience has also helped me in pick-up. After a bad day/night I would be so angry at myself that I was determined to get back out there and smash it the next day/night. There have been times when I would be driving home after having a bad day/night and then drive back because I couldn't end the day on a bad note.

I've been rejected more times in life than I have succeeded and I feel that if I am going to succeed I am going to be rejected even more.

Optimistic
I'm not where I want to be with my life at the moment but I feel that if I put myself out there and continually strive to change, whether big or small, my life will be amazing.

Personal Style
I've always had a great sense of style. I am always getting compliments for my personal style. I feel fashion says alot about my identity. I want people to see someone with a warm and accomodating presence and I feel my dress sense does that.
I also love that I don't feel like I need to spend ridiculous amounts of money for great style. It surprises people when I tell them how much my entire outfits costs.

Unique
My uniqueness is something I've come to embrace alot more in the past year. Growing up I never really fit in because I was seen as abit of an outsider. I never really fit in with the cool kids and I never really fit in with the nerdy kids. I felt the need for acceptance and would resort to conforming. I would dress and act a certain way. As a result of this I felt alot of resistance because I wasn't being myself. There was a fear of allowing myself to be myself because I had fallen too deep in this fake identity, what would people think of me? More and more I am giving myself the permission to be my true self and I feel people are embracing me more than when I was conforming. Why would you want to conform anyway? You'll just be bland and boring like everyone else.

Things I Want to Improve
Building a lifestyle which aligns with my core values and beliefs
Something that I have been working on recently with the help of Matt. Understanding what my values are and living my life in alignment with these values:
- Helping others
- Inspiring
- Influential
- Personal development
- Excitement
- Fun

I feel that being part of All Stars has allowed me to follow these values. I am actively going out with other all stars, relating my experiences with theirs to influence and inspire them. I am taking action towards improving myself and it's fun and exciting. I am also active in the Melbourne Lair for this reason.

It was one of the main reasons why I switched from taekwondo to BJJ. I felt taekwondo was robotic and I felt the instructors were fueled by ego. I felt that the instructors were trying to come off as the be all and end all when it came to teaching and I felt that many students were being given an unrealistic view on reality when it came to self defence. Though personally I don't believe BJJ would be useful in a self defence situation, I love that everyone I've trained with, whether senior or below you, is helping you to become better. There are no egos. Respect is earned through the hard work you put in. Not your rank.

I can feel what it's like to not operate in alignment with my values. At work I am uninspired, unmotivated and going to work seems like a buzz kill. I am actively seeking a new job which will hopefully align with my values and give me the juice I need. Also being around people who don't align with these core values really sucks your energy.

I have come to see that when you are operating within your core values and beliefs, everything seems to operate in a flow zone. I am actively looking to improve this area of my life as I feel that this is where building an amazing life starts.

Embracing my sexuality
This is a big issue for alot of guys who get into pick-up and I'm no different. At a young age I didn't get to express ourselves sexually and now I'm playing catchup. At the moment I am reading alot of books on sexuality and I have been mixing up night game abit more as I am alot more sexual in my interactions at night than I am during the day. I still feel I can do more to develop this part of me. I haven't been journaling much on my daygame or nightgame adventures recently. I think it's time to start doing it again.