Understanding why I don't have women now

When I got into pickup about a year ago I had 0 women in my life. The only women I ever talked to were either my sisters, my mum or workmates. Fast forward a year and still there are 0 women in my life. I am definitely meeting more women and having amazing experiences with them but no-one who play a big part in my life.

I think the major reason why I haven't got many women in my life is reference experiences. I haven't put myself in situations where I can really get to know women. Growing up I grew up with 4 strong minded, confident and ambitious women. I grew up drifting in the shadows. I had no male influence or role model to demonstrate what it was to be a man. I what I learned about women I learned from my sisters. I grew up thinking sex was bad and women didn't like sex. I grew up with guilt behind wanting amazing sexual experiences with women.

To make things worse, I went to an all-boys school so throughout my teenage years, my contact with women apart from my mother and my sisters was 0. I was shy, withdrawn and abit of a social retard. I was bullied and I would avoid any social activities at all costs so I missed an integral part of my adolescence which was learning social skills to interact with people.

This has carried on until I joined the pick-up community last year. At the time I was desperate. I had only been with 3 women in my entire life and it was over 2 years since I had been with a girl. Something had to be done. I had discovered "The Game" 3 years earlier but I had alot of image issues I had to deal with. I wore braces, thick glasses and a bowl haircut done by my mum. There was a massive backlash from my parents as a result in wanting to change my image but I knew it had to be done. Even today my parents have a go at me for how I look. They think I'm some kind of criminal.

For most of my life I haven't had the balls to talk to girls. I decided to bite the bullet and fork out some cash for a bootcamp. I needed to put myself in a situation where I had no choice but to talk to girls. As a result of ongoing coaching I have become comfortable in approaching women but they don't seem to be going anywhere and I feel it all comes back to reference experiences.

There comes a point in an interaction with a woman where I am in isolation with them and I am not spending enough time in these situations. In the last month I can say I've only been in about 2 hours in isolation which is simply not enough. To get better with women you need to spend time with women. Funny how we join the pick-up community to meet more women but instead we end up meeting more guys.

I went to speed dating last weekend which was awesome. It got me in an isolated situation where I was able to build reference experiences which in turn will make me better with women. I managed to score a date with 4 out of the 10 girls from speed dating which means more reference experiences. I'm looking forward to doing speed dating more often. With my ever improving conversational and flirting skills they should ban me because it's almost cheating :)

In recent times I have been beating myself up for not progressing as fast as I would like with women. I have to realise that I am trying to catch up on 25 years of reference experiences in the space of a year which is a tough thing to do. I accept that I am on a journey and that the process will take as long as it takes. I am becoming smarter about how I meet women and building reference experiences. I am starting to feel juiced about meeting women again and I feel that something awesome is on the horizon.