It's statement like these which are holding me back...

I've just finished BJJ and as I'm getting changed I get the following message from my sister:
"Hi, i advise u 2 stay where u r & work ur way up. Consult's hard work. Think carefully. Oanh"

I was reading this and I got abit angry and I was quick to reply:
"when you are miserable, unninspired, unmotivated something needs to change i've felt this way for a very long time. i value my wellbeing much more than the money i make."

I love my sister alot and we are very close but when I hear something like this I can't help but get angry. It's statements like these that have held me back in the past. It was statement like these which stopped me from even trying. It was statements like these which shut me off from the rest of the world. To accept that I was destined to live a life where I was being told what to do. To feel guilty about wanting treat myself for my hard work and wanting to enjoy my success.

Growing up in a fairly traditional Asian family the culture tends to reflect the communual mentality where everyone works to help the family whereas in Australia it is more of a individualist mentality. Being the oldest son there is an expectation to support the family. Growing up poor I really hated this. Why should I have to work so hard and give up part of my pay to family. Not that I don't want to help them out but I have put in the time so it should be up to me to determine how I should spend my money.

I remember getting my first fulltime job and when I first told my family already they were talking about how much I should give up to them. It took 6 months of heartache to get my first job and it really took the joy out of my achievement. Not having money when growing up I had many things I wanted to buy. I needed braces because my teeth were mangled. I needed to sharpen up the way I dress to goto work. I needed a car to get around. My family would make me feel guilty for wanting these things.

As I was going through the pain of being rejected by employer after employer my mum told me "working is hard. Focus on your studies." My marks were terrible and no employer was willing to accept me based on marks alone. I knew I had the desire and the drive to work but being unspirited by statements like always put a sense of guilt in the back of my head. Feeling like I was disrespecting my parents if I didn't do as I was told.

When it comes to girls my parents would say find a nice Asian girl so she can look after you. I have dated a few Asian girls and they have failed miserably. My values just don't align with traditional Asian girls. I find them bland and extremely boring. I feel I am a person who craves a connection and I never got that with an Asian girl. It seems they were with me because I was the first one they could settle for...or was it the other way around? My sister would say don't date go from girl to girl. I should stick around. Relationships are hard work. I can't accept that. If it was real love, it wouldn't be work and I shouldn't feel guilty for wanting to play the field while I search for the woman of my dreams.

It's the feeding off these words from family which have held me back and hasn't served me. I know deep down that I can't accept life as it is. It hurts too much. My mum tells me to get used to it and learn to be happy. I can't be happy when I know there is a greater world for me out there. It has been very hard for me to let go of my family. I have made it clear for them I will be moving out soon. As much as I know it will hurt them. I know it is something I have to do. I associate alot of negativity being with my family. I feel that to become the man I want to be I have to do it on my own terms.