Excuse the grammar as I was typing this on my iphone. the time is 3:15 today and i am crashing at jared's place. he's been an absolute lifesaver by letting me crash at his place for the night. i lost my licence a couple of weeks ago and i was caught by the cops as i was driving to eve nightclub tonight. being summoned to goto court i now feel miserable. today... i mean yesterday was a rollercoaster. it all started with me going to see my sleep specialist because i have sleep appnea. i stop breathing throughout the night leaving me very tired during the day. i find myself regularly falling asleep. it has become a problem at work and something had to be done. i went in today because i have been trialling a cpap mask. they allow continuous air to my lungs when i stop breathing that way i have a better nights sleep. results proved to be better than expected. the cpap is working well. just have to use it more. i left very happy with the results.
then it was off to the city for some bjj. i hadn't trained in a while and i was itching to get back into it. i feel it's an art that challenges me mentally, emotionally and spiritually. there's a feeling of addressing your fears head on and trying to conquer them. it is the most satisfying yet painful experience. as i was walking to bjj. get a phone call. i've have been applying for $100k jobs and one of them hit. i was called in for an interview for today. hell yeah. i surprised but at the same time not surprised. i guess sometimes in the back of my mind i feell i don't deserve it but i've taken action, they've seen some potential. i'm starting to believe i can get a $100k job i believe i'm worth $100k.
anyway i went to bjj. some of the techniques i still remember but i really struggled. i felt like i was a beginner again. though i was tortured i felt refreshed to be training again. i knew for a long time it was a feeling i was missing. also just as a welcome back, i got kneed in the face and blood started pouring out of my nose. good time :). i left training with all my muscles depleted. my hands and legs were shaking. it was hard to keep still.
i'm in the city so i figure i do some daygame and buy some shoes for the interview. my shoes are falling apart. i'm sitting on a bench in front of bourke st mall. i'm feeling massive approach anxiety. i've already let some incredibly beautiful women walk past me. i decide to write a journal entry to calm myself down. i'm taking a lot of deep breaths and soaking up the atmosphere. i let a few more beautiful women walk past but one really caught my eye. she was this slim blonde wearing a mini skirt and a fitted jacket. she had great sense of style but not so sure about sense of practicality seeing as it was winter. who cares? she was gorgeous. i was still frozen. i couldn't get myself to approach her. i'm kicking myself as she walks out of my sight. after a while i see her again wondering around some of the shops. again i let her walk out of sight. the pain was unbearable. what the hell am i doing here? lets go find some shoes. i sit at the bench for a few minutes then i see the blonde bird walk past again. this time i had to approach. i knew i'd be kicking myself if i didn't. so i go after her. i caught up with her. got her attention and opened with "i know this is really random but i thought you were beautiful. i had to come over and say hi. my name is khoi" you could see her light up as soon as i opened her. funnily for me i wasn't feeling much anxiety. we had a chat for a bit and exchanged some playful banter. she say she has to go so i go for the number close. we exchange numbers and part ways.
I met up with Daryl (Melbourne Lair) I did a few more approaches throughout the day. I got one more number close by this corporate glamour (glamourate). Anyway the main focus was shoes. I couldn't find any in the city so I go with Daryl to Chadstone. We we're both after a pair of shoes. We found this neat shoe store hiding at the back of the shopping centre. I ended up buying these dark brown shoes. I know I'll be looking very sharp tomorrow. I remembered there was a Lair talk by Tim and I asked Daryl if he wanted to come. He agreed and off we went. I have to say Tim is one of the most inspirational people I have met. I have never met anyone who was committed to helping others better themselves.
We went for drinks after at the black pearl. To be honest I felt quite uncomfortable around most of the Lair guys. I felt abit like an outsider. I sat within the group not saying a single word. I was sitting in there wanting to leave but couldn't get myself up to do it.
Eventually we did leave and I decided to head to Eve with Simon and Jared. As we were driving in the city I noticed a cop car behind me. I was abit worried they would stop me and to my luck they did. The pulled me over and asked me a series of questions. They told me I couldn't drive the car and someone will have to pick me up. A whole series of thoughts ran through my head "how am I gonna get to work?" "what if mum and dad find out?" "how will I be able to go out?" I was really bummed out.
Jared was nice enough to drive my car and park it at his place and sleepover at his place and have my brother pick up the car the next day. We end up going to eve. I go hoping the doorman, Dan, will be there. He will always let me in free. Unfortunately, he wasn't and bouncers said he wasn't in tonight. We talked to the bouncers for a bit and after a while they let us in. It was hard to get myself pumped as I had all these thoughts going on in my head. I was worried about how things will unfold now that I can no longer drive.
I did a few approaches but no-one was having any of it. So I thought bugger it. I hit the dancefloor and rocked it with Simon (Jared decided to goto sleep when we dropped off my car). I love the music at Eve. They don't overplay electro house which I think is repetitive. They got abit of progressive as well which is abit more chilled out. I remember the song Bonkers went on and in my peripheral I see two girls watching and point at me. I kinda sense they're either gonna come over and dance with me or I'm gonna have to around and open non-verbally. I keep dancing for abit more and both of them grab me and start dancing with me. I dance with both of them for a little bit and then I start making moves on the cuter of the two (they weren't flash hot but I think in the state I was in, I'd go for anything). I'm getting real close and physical with her. She seems to be complying to every move I make. We're real close. There is some sexual charge but I don't feel there is enough. Wash, rinse and repeat. I'm getting more compliance and I feel I'll be able to make a move on her. I look at Simon with a devilish smile. I'm gonna make a move. I pull her in real close and we get real physical. Just as I was amping things up the music stops. Damn! I didn't see the point of pursuing any further.
It's funny as I write out these turn of events over the day because in hindsight it really isn't that bad. Yes it sucks that I won't be able to drive. Sure I'll have to take public transport to work. But I'll get to catch up on some sleep rather than having to be switched on behind the wheel. I can listen to the audio as I go home. I'll save money on petrol. Money better spent on bettering myself. It motivates me to keep hunting for more $100k jobs. It will force me to get my logistics sorted. I might not even need the car once I get a new job because I'll be working and living close to the city.
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